A Teacher's Perspective On Parenting In A Digital Age
This podcast episode delves into the profound impact of societal changes on childhood development and mental health. We candidly examine the ramifications of unrestricted access to social media platforms, such as TikTok, on the younger generation. It is posited that the failure to adequately socialize children in their formative years can lead to long-term psychological consequences, including social isolation and an increased likelihood of developing antisocial behaviors. We further discuss the pivotal role that educators and parents must play in fostering healthy environments for children to thrive, emphasizing the critical importance of early intervention and positive reinforcement. As we navigate these complex issues, we collectively reaffirm our commitment to understanding and addressing the mental well-being of today’s youth.
Takeaways:
- The detrimental effects of excessive screen time on children's development necessitate a concerted effort to mitigate its impact.
- Socialization during early childhood is crucial, as failure to do so can lead to isolation and behavioral issues later in life.
- The evolution of parental attitudes towards teachers reflects a cultural shift in responsibility and respect for educators.
- Children's mental health is increasingly influenced by social media, raising concerns about its role in exacerbating feelings of depression and anxiety.
- The formative years of a child's life are essential for their emotional and social development, with long-lasting effects into adulthood.
- Teachers play a pivotal role in shaping a child's self-esteem and happiness, often impacting their lives far beyond academic knowledge.
Transcript
Let's be adults in the room now and say this has had a real effect on our children and how we're going to actually fix it.
Speaker B:Yeah, I was, when I first started the primary school I was working in a, in what was a year three and they're now year.
Speaker B:Well actually now they're year five now aren't they?
Speaker B:Because we're back in September.
Speaker B:So I was working with them last year and they were here for.
Speaker B:And they would have been in reception or I think so they.
Speaker B:And they.
Speaker B:And it.
Speaker B:Occasionally you just get like a year group or a class that are just sort of inordinately disproportionately out there and difficult.
Speaker B:But this group of kids were like really, really hard, really, really difficult and apparently it's cropping up sort of around the place, around sort of where I'm from.
Speaker B:So I, I can imagine.
Speaker B:I mean I don't know enough about sort of childhood development but I do know that there, there was a psychologist that basically discovered something where when you look, because obviously two, apparently toddlers, two to three year olds are the most violent people of an age range.
Speaker B:So they kick screen bite more than any age range in human age.
Speaker B:And what there's about, I'm not sure what the percentage but it's a small percent usually boys who are hyper violent and so they'll kick, scream, they'll kick bite more disproportionately more than other people and other kids.
Speaker B:And if you don't socialize those children by age 4, they will never catch up with their peer groups and they will basically because one thing as you guys I'm sure you're aware of, at least that I found that kids don't, I think you said something earlier but kids don't like to associate with children that they think are lower than them.
Speaker B:There's this urge in children to sort of aim up and to grow and to want to be more than they are, which is, you know, why they can fall prey to, as we were talking about earlier, certain characters.
Speaker B:But these kids that aren't successfully socialized by age 4 will basically just become social, sort of socially isolated and, and they're, they're the, the men that end up in prison because they're the ones that end up with antisocial personality disorder because they, but then if you can socialize them and you can get them to a point where they can control that, it's actually exceptionally beneficial for them because they, they possess the qualities that can, you know, I'm a very agreeable person by temperament.
Speaker B:And I'm sure that you guys are.
Speaker B:Because you wouldn't be in a primary school if you weren't.
Speaker B:And there's some great benefits to that, but there's also some drawbacks to that.
Speaker C:Oh yeah, Remember that time that, that we absolutely ruined that generation because we just allowed them to have TikTok all the time.
Speaker C:Let's not do that anymore, you know.
Speaker C:But that generation existed so well, therefore sorry for them.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Navigate.
Speaker B:Apparently there.
Speaker B:So there's always this dilemma of like social media and, and suicidality among teenager.
Speaker B:No one could quite prove.
Speaker B:Is it just that people that use teenagers are more likely to feel.
Speaker B:The people that use teenagers that use social media are more likely to use depressed to feel depressed or is it actually that the social media is contributing to the depression?
Speaker B:And apparently there was a.
Speaker B:There was a new study that they've released and it's basically shown, not proven because you can't prove things as such, but it's shown that actually they are, they're causally connected.
Speaker B:So I think in the next few years they're really, really.
Speaker B:I think that's the next logical step.
Speaker B:I mean I don't know how you do it but just going back to the, the sort of.
Speaker B:I remember when I was.
Speaker B:My first phone was just like.
Speaker B:Like a little BlackBerry knockoff, little Vodafone BlackBerry knockoff.
Speaker B:It had like, like those buttons and I had an ipod and I was so desperate to get a phone.
Speaker B:I used to download apps that would like turn your ipod into a phone.
Speaker B:I don't know what.
Speaker B:In hindsight I don't know what I was doing.
Speaker B:But nowadays the technology that children have at their disposal, I mean because it's one thing, it just shifts your perspective so much.
Speaker B:So I remember thing about.
Speaker B:Because life is all about.
Speaker B:If you get.
Speaker B:When you sort of drugs, why they are so addictive is because they elevate you in a state but then they also drop you back down.
Speaker B:So and, and that sort of maligns your.
Speaker B:What would you say your, your mood I guess in this case.
Speaker B:But if you look at it from a technology perspective, what is having access to that intense peak going to do to that drop off as they get older and grow up?
Speaker B:How is, how are they going to sort of rectify that chasm that.
Speaker B:That will be created by those intense levels of dopamine that they have access to?
Speaker B:And then the, the pain that comes with being a teenager because it is painful, it is hard.
Speaker B:Especially as you were talking about, especially for girls, I mean puberty for Boys is kind of like you just become more of what you are.
Speaker B:You just get bigger, you get stronger, you get more muscle.
Speaker B:I mean, I had awful spots when I was growing up, so for me, it wasn't so great.
Speaker A:But, I mean, you know, staying.
Speaker A:Same boat.
Speaker B:Yeah, exactly, exactly.
Speaker B:But for girls, they completely change.
Speaker B:And so, yeah, I mean, mental health is a.
Speaker B:Mental health for children is a.
Speaker B:Is an entire podcast.
Speaker B:You could literally do a separate podcast on that YouTube.
Speaker B:But, yeah, I think we might have to, you know.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:No, I mean, you should, like, reach out to some, like, specialists or.
Speaker B:I don't really like that word specialist, but people that sort of do that, they would love to.
Speaker B:Yeah, they would love to talk to you.
Speaker B:I can't believe we're already 50 minutes in and we haven't got long left.
Speaker B:But I've actually.
Speaker B:I've loved talking with you.
Speaker B:I feel.
Speaker B:I can tell that you guys are good teachers, actually, because even though we're not in the same room, I can get a sense of people, after doing this enough now of who they are just by sort of having to speak with them.
Speaker B:And I can tell you guys are really good people and appreciate that.
Speaker B:Yeah, no, and I'm.
Speaker B:I really.
Speaker B:Because the attack on men as an entity is so awful nowadays.
Speaker B:And when I come across men that I think are doing a good job, I just have this urge.
Speaker B:I sort of unlike.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:You're.
Speaker B:You're.
Speaker B:This is it.
Speaker B:This is what.
Speaker B:This is what we need.
Speaker B:This is what children need.
Speaker B:This is what society needs.
Speaker B:They need men that are trying to help and trying to do a good thing, and they need to be appreciated.
Speaker B:So I guess the point I'm trying to make is from a collective.
Speaker B:From.
Speaker B:From just sort of thank you to what you guys are doing.
Speaker B:I know that sounds so soppy, but I can't really articulate.
Speaker B:I have this sort of like.
Speaker B:I know exactly what you mean, because.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm.
Speaker B:Yeah, so, yeah, that was a bit of a random.
Speaker B:But it's just.
Speaker A:No, no, I know you mean.
Speaker A:Because, you know, I think what you notice in today's society is.
Speaker A:And we always say this about everything.
Speaker A:The loudest people are usually the worst people.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And a reflection of that is that rightfully so.
Speaker A:Things have been called out more in recent times than previously.
Speaker A:There are certain things.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:As men, that certain men do that are absolutely wrong and should be called out.
Speaker A:And for too long, it was kind of like, it's fine.
Speaker A:It's a bit of a cool.
Speaker A:It's just, you know, old Jim, we Don't go around old gym after nine when he's had a couple of drinks, do we?
Speaker A:And it's like, no, that's the wrong attitude to have.
Speaker A:Because we need to call out things that are wrong and say these are wrong.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:And equally, you know, just, just even as people, you know, I see myself as a man, obviously, Hayden, you know, I identify that way as.
Speaker A:As if to say, I'm not scared of saying, yeah, I'm a bloke, of course I am.
Speaker A:But I think what fundamentally defines me and Hayden, I'd say more than anything is I just care about actually putting a good message out there and helping people.
Speaker A:So I really appreciate what you've been saying.
Speaker B:No, no, I agree and I, I'm completely with you.
Speaker B:I'm not a fan at all of prioritizing people's.
Speaker B:Like, what would you say?
Speaker B:Arbitrary demographics.
Speaker B:It's all about.
Speaker B:It's all about who you are.
Speaker B:But I just.
Speaker B:We are in the world.
Speaker B:We are in a world and a landscape where people do do that.
Speaker B:So I do think if you're gonna.
Speaker B:If people are gonna talk like that, then I'll be like, okay, well, then I'll have to rebuttal in that language.
Speaker B:Because that way, that's the only way you can understand it.
Speaker B:Even though the point I'm trying to make is it.
Speaker A:I get what you mean.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Isn't like gen.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So just, you know, know that what you, You're.
Speaker B:You're doing a really.
Speaker B:That sounds so patronizing, but I think you get the sound.
Speaker A:No, no, no, no, listen, we're laughing up.
Speaker A:Yeah, we're teachers.
Speaker A:We're the most patronizing people in the world.
Speaker A:A child can literally tuck their chair in and be like, oh, did you see this?
Speaker A:He tucked his chair in.
Speaker A:Look at this guy.
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker A:We're gonna clap him.
Speaker A:So don't worry about patronizing.
Speaker A:We do that for a living.
Speaker B:No, you're right.
Speaker B:You've gotta.
Speaker B:You've got to set up.
Speaker B:You've got to make an example out of people, haven't you?
Speaker B:And go.
Speaker B:You're doing the right thing.
Speaker B:Everyone congratulates you.
Speaker B:And then everyone else decides.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:Okay, so I want a piece of that.
Speaker B:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker B:I want a piece of that.
Speaker B:I wanna, I want that dopamine hit.
Speaker B:Unfortunately.
Speaker B:Good dopamine, though, because there's, there's good and bad reward.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:So where.
Speaker B:Where are we getting to now?
Speaker B:Well, let's talk a little about parenting.
Speaker B:We can talk about you guys being parents, actually.
Speaker B:And what have you learned?
Speaker B:Not what.
Speaker B:Not to do through being a teacher and acting, interacting with parents.
Speaker B:Firstly, Hayden, you can answer that.
Speaker B:Who, which of your children is oldest?
Speaker B:Who's got the older child?
Speaker C:So Dylan's.
Speaker C:Dylan's boy is six weeks older than mine.
Speaker B:Oh, that's fine then.
Speaker B:It doesn't matter.
Speaker B:That's negligible.
Speaker C:He's got one on me now.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I'm one year ahead of him in life.
Speaker C:But he's got.
Speaker A:It's weird.
Speaker A:He just keeps copying me.
Speaker A:I had a baby as a baby.
Speaker A:He feeds the baby just because I fed the baby.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:That's the only reason.
Speaker A:Her baby, her baby.
Speaker A:His baby gets toys just because my baby got.
Speaker A:Honestly, sorry.
Speaker B:I just beat you doing Hayden.
Speaker B:Be original.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, I know, I know.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:Dylan, have you, have you fed him today?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:You have?
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:I can't.
Speaker C:I'll do it as well then.
Speaker A:Why can't I do that now?
Speaker A:God can't copy him.
Speaker B:Hazen, why haven't you fed the baby in six weeks?
Speaker B:Well, because Dylan told me to stop copying, but yeah, yeah, I'm not allowed.
Speaker A:The fastest pregnancy you've ever seen.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker C:She got no toys left.
Speaker C:Well, Dylan, don't worry about it.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Anyway, there was a question.
Speaker C:Sorry.
Speaker B:I love the question.
Speaker A:Not to do.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:What have we learned?
Speaker C:That's a really good question.
Speaker C:I feel like I've never actually been asked that hilariously.
Speaker C:But I can, I don't know, I'm trying to think of the good ones I learned not to do or just.
Speaker B:What is it like being a parent?
Speaker B:I mean, either way it's fine.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:I would say something from the outside whilst you think, yeah, I've seen in you and especially what you've been saying today.
Speaker A:You've definitely come having had a girl.
Speaker A:I know for a fact that you've definitely been a bit more like, oh, one day, this will be my girl one day.
Speaker A:And you, I can see you like really thinking about that and the environment.
Speaker C:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:It is strange.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:I think that's a good point actually because, you know, having a raising a boy and a girl in today's society is different.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:And just seeing the world she's going to grow up into.
Speaker C:I am very aware of how boys and girls are treated differently and I think you start noticing it.
Speaker C:I start noticing at school by about, probably about year four.
Speaker C:I feel like when I've taught in year four, year five, year six, by year six, definitely the kids are like acutely aware of the cultural differences that we put on ourselves as the Differences between boys and girls and hilariously, ironically amplified by the whole movement over the last 20 years to boys and girls, you know, that's equalize it.
Speaker C:They're not different at all, which I feel like is hilariously gone in the way, but that's a whole different discussion.
Speaker C:But, you know, boys and girls, I mean, they're really aware by that, by their.
Speaker C:By the age of 10, that that totally different.
Speaker C:And I think about it a lot now because I look at.
Speaker C:I look at river, my little girl, and I think, God will.
Speaker C:If she has particular interests in, you know, things that are typically masculine, maybe she likes football.
Speaker C:Will she feel that cultural pressure still by 10 years old, to stop doing it?
Speaker C:Because it's, you know, it's not what girls do, because that's why.
Speaker C:That's how they feel, you know, And I think that is getting better over time.
Speaker C:I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as it used to be.
Speaker A:Well, if football's the perfect example for that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:But I still see it.
Speaker C:But, you know, I think it is much better now, you know, with girls football teams.
Speaker C:I'm way better at school, but I have still, every single year, I've still taught at least one kid.
Speaker C:One girl who I absolutely know wholeheartedly is only stopping the thing they really enjoy doing because they've been teased by the boys about it.
Speaker C:You know, someone has made them feel like, nah, it's a boy thing.
Speaker C:Girl, though.
Speaker C:And this is a boy thing.
Speaker C:Even though we all pretend it's not, you know, we've been taught not to.
Speaker C:We all still think it, so we're gonna make you feel it.
Speaker C:And I think I really, really hope that doesn't happen.
Speaker C:So I'm.
Speaker C:I'm super aware of that, like, more than ever now that I've got a little girl.
Speaker A:Good job.
Speaker A:You answered the question, by the way, about what you've learned.
Speaker A:Yeah, I know.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:I will come back to that question because I have got an answer.
Speaker A:No, I just see it from your point of view.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's a really interesting point.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Have you got an answer?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:It's really interesting because where.
Speaker A:Where we've had our children for a year now, so, you know, even thinking about schools, you know, we kind of know what school they'll go to because a local area, we've got a few choices, maybe two or three.
Speaker A:But having had my child, I think it having been a teacher affects definitely how you parent.
Speaker A:We've talked about this before, and I think without a Doubt the importance of the early years.
Speaker A:Like, you know, if someone comes around our house they'll say, my goodness, we know you're, we know you two are teachers.
Speaker A:My partner is a teacher as well.
Speaker A:So we know you two are teachers because there's 57 books in a pile in the front room on the floor.
Speaker A:And I think having dealt with parents before, I know how I'm going to treat my teachers when my child goes to school.
Speaker A:Because I think what goes a long way for teachers is just a bit of understanding and a bit of the rub of the green to say, okay, my child's come home really upset.
Speaker A:My child's come home saying that the teacher did this.
Speaker A:It was completely unfair.
Speaker A:I got told off for something I didn't do.
Speaker A:All I think we want as teachers is we know we can make mistakes sometimes.
Speaker A:I've told children off before when absolutely they actually didn't do what I'm telling them off for.
Speaker A:And we need to say sorry and move on from there and explain how everyone makes mistakes, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker A:But I think what I really appreciate from parents is when they just don't automatically believe their seven year old child and instead they want to talk to the 31 year old professional who's been teaching for 10 years just to see maybe, maybe the other side of the story is quite important because we've had a few brazen parents and I'll be honest, it's not as many as you might feel in the media like what we see sometimes.
Speaker A:But you had a few brazen parents who come and say, apparently Tom, I told off for swearing.
Speaker A:My child doesn't swear.
Speaker A:I'm just like, oh well, I did see it with my own eyes.
Speaker A:So how do I go about this conversation right now?
Speaker A:So, yeah, just a bit of understanding.
Speaker A:I think as a parent you kind.
Speaker C:Of stole my point because I was going, I was literally going to make that point.
Speaker C:My thing not to do is, is that is believe my child.
Speaker C:Because kids lie profusely.
Speaker C:And any parent who says that kids don't lie, I have no idea that I've never met a child who has had more sons who has more than a day without lying on it.
Speaker C:We all lie.
Speaker C:You lie.
Speaker C:When you grow up, you know, you need a set.
Speaker A:Well, you're learning boundaries, aren't you?
Speaker A:And that's what.
Speaker C:And you naturally just lie.
Speaker C:You don't want to give me, you don't want to be in TR trouble.
Speaker C:And then you start to learn when you think when you're going to get Away with it.
Speaker C:And we're not.
Speaker C:And everyone lies, man.
Speaker C:And so, yeah, I'm absolutely not going to believe.
Speaker C:Automatically believe my kids.
Speaker A:Yeah, Automatically is the key word.
Speaker A:Yeah, sometimes.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker C:Yeah, I'll look into it.
Speaker C:But most of the time my first thought will be, okay, I'll speak to the teacher.
Speaker C:If the teacher says, I'll believe that.
Speaker B:Also, apparently the way it works is that the more intelligent the child is, the quicker they learn to lie.
Speaker B:And what that must.
Speaker B:I can see that what that must mean is that because if you think about it, right, as adults, we know that when you lie, you don't just say a lie and that's it.
Speaker B:That creates like a ripple effect of contingent possibilities and intending occurrences, et cetera.
Speaker B:But as a child, you don't see that.
Speaker B:You just think, oh, I can just say this thing now.
Speaker B:And it's not going to have any impact on the future because they don't have the foresight to see into the future.
Speaker B:So it makes complete sense.
Speaker B:Like, why wouldn't I.
Speaker B:Remember when I was younger, I was like, why wouldn't you lie?
Speaker B:You can just lie.
Speaker B:And it's like, there you go, problem's gone.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But it doesn't work like that, does it?
Speaker A:Not so true.
Speaker A:They don't.
Speaker A:They don't understand the fact that you watch them.
Speaker A:Like, that's why even today with, like, with kids, I'm still just like, I'm sat next to them, right?
Speaker A:Let's say I'm sat next to them and they literally just swear, right?
Speaker A:They'll just swear under their breath.
Speaker A:Not trying to show off, but they just, They've heard it at home.
Speaker A:They just say, oh, I don't know if we can surround this podcast.
Speaker A:But they're just like, oh, and.
Speaker A:And I'll go, no, sorry, we don't use that language in school.
Speaker A:And I go, what then?
Speaker A:You can't.
Speaker A:Sorry, you can't say, that's not how we speak in school.
Speaker A:I didn't.
Speaker A:So at the best thing, right, the best.
Speaker A:The most hilarious thing about being a teacher, which happens every year about fail, probably every week, is you'll hear something's happened on the playground, right?
Speaker A:So kids will come in and they'll say, oh, little Jimmy, he was.
Speaker A:Sorry, Jimmy, by the way, if he exists.
Speaker A:I keep using you as an example, but little Jimmy, he's a good.
Speaker A:On the playground, he pushed me.
Speaker A:He pushed me over.
Speaker A:And then someone else said, yeah, we saw him, we saw him.
Speaker A:So as soon as you've got three or four, you're like, okay, Something probably happened.
Speaker A:So you get Jimmy over.
Speaker A:You say, come, Jimmy, can I have a word, please?
Speaker A:And he'll walk up to you, and before you say anything, Jimmy will go, I didn't push him.
Speaker A:Oh, I've not mentioned anything yet, actually.
Speaker A:So what do you mean you didn't push him?
Speaker A:Yeah, you pushed me.
Speaker A:Push me.
Speaker A:I was like, cool.
Speaker A:Well, you pushed him then.
Speaker A:Because you've been thinking of it in your head already, partner.
Speaker B:Yeah, because it's like.
Speaker B:Well, yeah, because when you're young, you.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:You haven't sort of placed your different parts of your personality in the right order.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Not in the right order, but in, like, a cohesive order.
Speaker B:So you.
Speaker B:You act out.
Speaker B:And then you're like, oh, I don't want to act out.
Speaker B:Act out.
Speaker B:Okay, what do I do?
Speaker B:I'm just gonna die.
Speaker B:I'm just gonna.
Speaker B:No, I'm just gonna say I didn't do it.
Speaker B:And it's like jumping from those different sort of, like, inside out.
Speaker C:One other thing, just jumping back on, like, Dylan's point.
Speaker C:I'm thinking something you said earlier about parents and how, like, even is changing.
Speaker C:We were just talking about change over time and even how it's changing our parents.
Speaker C:One of the biggest changes I've noticed with parents is.
Speaker C:Is.
Speaker C:Is the fact that just riding on this is the fact that they do just believe their kids.
Speaker C:And.
Speaker C:And the respect for teachers.
Speaker C:That is one thing I'll say that I think has.
Speaker C:Is like, visibly, obviously different now.
Speaker C:It is the just the complete sort of lack of respect to even.
Speaker C:Even, like, think that the teacher might, you know, maybe their words are worth something.
Speaker C:And, you know, the kids are always believed.
Speaker C:Always.
Speaker C:But the kids will be believed straight.
Speaker A:Away and by these parents.
Speaker C:Yeah, and we talked about this maybe on our recently, but there's that famous meme, or it's like there's two pictures, one above the other.
Speaker C: And it was like, oh, in the: Speaker C:The child saying, why have you done this thing?
Speaker C:Whatever the naughty thing was, why have you done this?
Speaker C:And then it goes down to today, and it's the same scenario, and it's the parent shouting at the teacher, saying, why?
Speaker C:Why have you let my kid do this thing?
Speaker C:Or something like that.
Speaker C:And it was, you know, just taking the Mick out of the fact that the blame seems to have shift now.
Speaker C:The responsibility seems to have shift.
Speaker C:And I think that is something I've noticed even in my 10 years is that that difference in responsibility from the parents and who they put everything on.
Speaker B:Was something that's definitely, definitely.
Speaker B:And I've spoken to another.
Speaker B:Another teacher about this.
Speaker B:Is that teachers nowadays take on a far more parental role than they were than they used to do in the 50s and the.
Speaker B:In sort of historically.
Speaker B:And I'm not.
Speaker B:And it's probably got a large part to do with the fact that both parents now work, so there isn't like a primary as such care, caregiver.
Speaker B:And the.
Speaker B:You know, I had a woman on my podcast who said.
Speaker B:Who wrote a book called why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years of Life Is Essential.
Speaker B:Basically said mums or dads.
Speaker B:But mums tend to help children integrate their sort of psych.
Speaker B:They're like neurotic tendencies and sort of anger, anxious and crying.
Speaker B:And mums are really good at that.
Speaker B:That's sort of comforting.
Speaker B:And then dads are better at helping children integrate their sort of aggression and their.
Speaker B:And sort of boisterousness.
Speaker B:So like.
Speaker B:And I thought that that was really interesting and obviously that she's sort of generalizing, but anyone can do.
Speaker B:Anyone can do it.
Speaker B:But that was.
Speaker B:That is what she was kind of saying.
Speaker B:But I think the key takeaway was that those first three years of life are really, really important to the development of the child.
Speaker B:And if you can sort of spend as much time as you possibly can with them in that first three years, that's kind of like almost a lot of parenting is done in the early years of them.
Speaker B:And then what tends to happen in.
Speaker B:They tend to socialize and they're almost parented by their peers when they get a bit older and their peers like chip them into shape.
Speaker B:And that can be brutal and it can be really harsh.
Speaker B:And you just hope that they find a peer group that is sort of.
Speaker B:They're like a good average of their peer groups that they don't feel that too.
Speaker B:You know, they don't want to be too on the outskirts, but they maybe they don't want to be like the center of attention as well.
Speaker C:Because, yeah, you can really see that at school.
Speaker C:You can really identify the children who are proper social sponges.
Speaker C:Like they will just latch on to a friend, a friend or a friendship group and will absolutely absorb their personalities.
Speaker C:You can really tell.
Speaker C:It's very interesting.
Speaker C:And then you get the children that are almost the complete opposite.
Speaker C:Maybe, maybe it is down to that first three years.
Speaker C:Maybe they had a very different experience.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:But then you get the other children that seem a bit more confident and they're often like, really, really like their parents and quite happy with who they are.
Speaker C:Not really interested in absorbing personality of the people around them.
Speaker C:They're just, they're just content and it is funny just kind of watching those relationships develop.
Speaker C:I was definitely.
Speaker C:I don't know what you were like.
Speaker C:I was definitely the, the, the first one.
Speaker C:Like I, I would just absorb.
Speaker C:Like, luckily I had a nice bunch of friends around me, but I absolutely would just form my opinions based on their opinions.
Speaker C:And, and, and just.
Speaker C:I just wanted to make sure I was liked.
Speaker C:I just wanted to be.
Speaker C:I just wanted to fit in.
Speaker C:That was the only thing that mattered.
Speaker C:And like, oh, my friends will think they're so cool.
Speaker C:I think that now as well.
Speaker C:And I was absolutely that kid growing up.
Speaker C:So it's funny to see them younger, see mini me's.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think, I mean, I've already got one more question to me, but I think we're ready to.
Speaker B:Ready to stop the.
Speaker B:What do you think both of you can answer as the final, final question, but what do you think the importance of a good teacher?
Speaker B:Probably touched on it in various conversations, but I know one of you said earlier that you don't.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The sort of influence that a teacher has on a child is.
Speaker B:I think it was.
Speaker B:Dylan, the influence a teacher has on a child is very minimal.
Speaker B:But, but I think I understand what you mean, but I also think it can be exceptionally large.
Speaker B:I mean, I remember going, I know this is not the question, but there was a chat that I had when I was working and this guy basically said, every single one of you can probably name a teacher who was very influential in your life.
Speaker B:There isn't really any other person that people come into other than parents that people come into contact with that they can say that about.
Speaker B:Teaching is kind of like the only thing where you have you.
Speaker B:Because as we said, you're working with young people at a young age.
Speaker B:So you.
Speaker B:Like when you get older, when you're 23 and you spend six months with someone, it's like, well, you know, and when you're 63, it's even more.
Speaker B:But when you're 8 and you spend six months with a teacher or a year with a teacher, that's like a big chunk of your life that you've just spent with that person.
Speaker C:Yeah, huge.
Speaker B:So what would you say the role of a great teacher is?
Speaker B:And how do you.
Speaker B:And how do you think individually both of you are.
Speaker B:What do you think your sort of Individual strengths play into being a good teacher.
Speaker A:So I'm going to clarify something because I think what you're saying, I completely agree with it.
Speaker A:When I said teachers don't have as much of an impact, I really truly mean in terms of getting across a math curriculum.
Speaker B:Okay, Right.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So in terms of I've seen amazing teachers and I've seen bang average teachers and I've seen bad teachers over my time.
Speaker A:And when it comes to the end of the year when we see how children have made progress down to a T, every child gets better at maths, every child gets better at English.
Speaker A:There's planning they can take from etc, make that progress.
Speaker A:The better teachers make a bit more progress in terms of academic wise and the worst teachers maybe make a little bit less.
Speaker A:And some years you have different cohorts.
Speaker A:It's hard to gauge.
Speaker A:I think you absolutely though can have a massive impact as a teacher on a child.
Speaker A:And it is something that I would put down as probably my favorite.
Speaker A:Definitely my top three part of teaching is the impact and the relationships you can build with children.
Speaker A:And I always go back to certain children, always think of certain children.
Speaker A:The other day, it was the first day of school.
Speaker A:I had parked around the corner to nip into the shop before school because obviously I'm unorganized.
Speaker A:I haven't got my lunch ready.
Speaker A:So I went to get my lunch and as I was leaving my car, three children walked down who were on their first day in year seven.
Speaker A:Now I'm not even a year six teacher, I'm a year four teacher.
Speaker A:I taught these children three, four years ago.
Speaker A:But their face lit up when they saw me.
Speaker A:Their face lit up and they were excited and they were showing me their uniform.
Speaker A:They were pointing to their new badge.
Speaker A:And that I think in a nutshell just sums up what an impact you can have as an adult.
Speaker A:Not only can you have on the children, because the children love being in your classroom.
Speaker A:And by the way that progress comes from, from my point of view, what I do, and I'll answer your second question here is what I think personally I can give to the job is building those relationships, forming those amazing bonds with the children that allows the progress to happen academically.
Speaker A:So you need to invest time in, in knowing the children individually, in, in being that safe space for them, in talking to them about what they want to talk about, in them thinking that it's okay to make mistakes wherever they are, in them feeling that they can talk to you.
Speaker A:If they had a bad day yesterday and teacher's not Going to bite their head off if they don't work as hard as they can for the morning.
Speaker A:Understanding that these children are human beings who are actually in the rawest state possible as a human being.
Speaker A:And you have an impact on how they develop.
Speaker A:That's, that's unique to teaching and especially unique to teaching lower and younger children.
Speaker A:And I see as a privilege, to be honest with you, that I can be in charge of children and, and be the person I know for these 32 kids.
Speaker A:I'm these kids, safe space, and I know I can help them develop.
Speaker A:And that's my favorite thing by far is those relationships you build with them and seeing them develop as human beings.
Speaker C:Yeah, brilliant, brilliant.
Speaker B:Jump in, Hayden.
Speaker A:Try and follow that.
Speaker C:Yeah, yeah, it was really interesting.
Speaker C:I was listening to Dylan the whole time thinking, I don't want to say the same thing.
Speaker C:I'm very, very much agree.
Speaker C:So I'm just going to give a really short answer.
Speaker C:And about, you know, your question was, what do you think the role of a good teacher is?
Speaker C:And I think it really is simply, and I hope this kind of summarizes what Dylan was saying.
Speaker C:I think the role of a good teacher is to teach a child to be content, to be happy, to find happiness in their life and enjoy their life.
Speaker C:And if that comes through, they love maths, cool.
Speaker C:If it's something else, great, you know, But I really do just think that that kind of summarizes what I think the role of a good teacher is.
Speaker C:It's about that, that holistic side of things that we started.
Speaker C:You know, this whole conversation about the beginning of this podcast is finding happiness in your life.
Speaker C:I think that's it.
Speaker C:You can, you can teach kids to be happy, then you're a winner.
Speaker C:They'll smile at you when they see you three years later.
Speaker C:Because I think, oh, I love that teacher.
Speaker C:Because you know what?
Speaker C:I'm a happier person now because they really showed me, like, how to find that.
Speaker A:Well, they remember exactly how I taught perimeter that day.
Speaker A:Maybe not.
Speaker A:Maybe not in the moment.
Speaker A:It's important and it forms them bonds like you said.
Speaker A:But do you know what?
Speaker C:Well, you can, you can do that experiment right now.
Speaker C:All of us can, you know, think, you know, you said everyone could think of their favorite teacher.
Speaker C:Okay, think of your favorite teacher right now.
Speaker C:Do you remember what they taught you?
Speaker C:Like the curriculum?
Speaker C:Honestly, not a thing.
Speaker C:Why are they my favorite teacher then?
Speaker C:What?
Speaker C:Clearly nothing to do with the academics.
Speaker C:My favorite teacher because they made me feel, they made me think I could do stuff.
Speaker C:Well, they made me believe in myself.
Speaker C:They helped me with my anxiety, all those sorts of things, you know, that's what it is.
Speaker C:That's the role of a good teacher.
