How To Stop People Pleasing & Start Living Authentically
In this episode of The Breaking Point Podcast, I am joined by Lynne Jenks, a spiritual life healer and crystal enthusiast whose work bridges inner energy and outer thriving. During the episode, she shares her profound journey from people-pleasing survival to authentic living, revealing tools like chakra balancing, crystal wisdom, and soul contracts to navigate life's deepest stuck points.
In this powerful interview, Lynne opens up about her eight-year fertility battle, IVF heartaches, multiple miscarriages, and the shattering breaking point that redefined her purpose beyond parenthood. She unveils her guide to energetic health—realigning core values, owning your truth over white lies, and harnessing gratitude to rewire neural pathways—alongside her favourite crystal picks like fluorite for focus and red jasper for grounding. This story is a testament to the soul's resilience and the healing magic of responding, not reacting, to trauma's echoes.
Learn how Lynne turned inner chaos into flourishing peace, confronted trapped energies in the chakras, and found unbreakable self-love amid loss. A must-watch for anyone seeking spiritual tools, mental health breakthroughs, and stories of triumph over invisible wounds!
Takeaways:
- Changing your narrative can flip the energy in your body, so why not try it?
- We often hit a breaking point before recognising how to live authentically, which is a wild ride.
- People pleasing is a trap that keeps us from being our true selves; just stop it already!
- Energy is everything, and we can learn to manage it with little tweaks in our daily lives.
- Your values shape your authenticity, and it's crucial to check in on them regularly.
- Mindfulness and self-reflection can help us navigate our energy and reactions to life’s chaos.
Transcript
And as you move for energy and you change that energy and we rewrite that story, repeat to yourself in a different way, change the narrative, you change the energy, you change the energy in your body, you're changing the way you're reacting to, responding.
Speaker A:So you often hear these stories of when you stop, when you're at breaking point, what happens?
Speaker A:What really upsets me, and it does bother me quite a bit, is that you shouldn't have to get to breaking point before your body lets you do the thing or not do the thing.
Speaker A:But we all have a breaking point, and that was probably one of mine.
Speaker A:And that part of our nervous system, that fight or flight and that rest and digest is so vital to our being, to our energy system.
Speaker A:And so many of us think we're resting, we're watching telly, we're sat there chilling inside.
Speaker A:We are just reeling over an old conversation.
Speaker B:Hello, everyone.
Speaker B:Welcome back to another episode of the Breaking Point podcast.
Speaker B:Today, we are here with Lyn Jinx.
Speaker B:Lyn is a spiritual life healer and crystal enthusiast, I guess, which we're going to get into.
Speaker B:We've already spoken a little bit beforehand and I've warned Lin that this is a little bit outside of my comfort zone with regards to content, so I'm going to be directed by her.
Speaker B:But, Lin, tell us, how would you like to introduce yourself?
Speaker B:Because I've done a semi good job, but you take it away.
Speaker A:I question when people say, you know, what do you do?
Speaker A:What do you do?
Speaker A:And then what people tend to do is they then say a list of their job titles.
Speaker A:So what I do is I look after your inner world and I make sure that your inner world is in good, energetic health.
Speaker A:Your nervous system, your endocrine system, your hormone system.
Speaker A:I help you to work with your energy so that your outer world benefits.
Speaker A:And how I do it is working with your energy.
Speaker A:I use crystals as a modem, as a tool, and I do spiritual life coaching in order to get you from stuck and I don't know, into thriving and succeeding and feeling happy and doing that traditional, authentic living that everybody likes to say, live your true, authentic self.
Speaker A:And a lot of the time we don't know what that means or how to do it.
Speaker A:And I help people get from where they're stuck into where they're flourishing.
Speaker B:What does it mean to live authentically?
Speaker B:Because that's at uni at the moment.
Speaker B:We've, I've been talking about authenticity and that's really.
Speaker B:I wrote about it as well recently.
Speaker B:Where did it come?
Speaker B:Where did I Write about it, it doesn't matter.
Speaker B:But it's a great word, but it probably means something different to everyone.
Speaker B:So what does it mean to you and for your clients?
Speaker A:So in order to know what you are authentic.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:To understand what your authentic self means is you first of all have to understand what's your purpose, what are your values.
Speaker A:And we all live by a series of values.
Speaker A:Usually there are top five that are your main top values.
Speaker A:And we are taught these values by society, parents, culture, as we grow.
Speaker A:And then often we don't ever go back and check in on them again.
Speaker A:So as we age and we change and we move and we diversify, our values either change with us or they don't because we don't go back to check on them.
Speaker A:So in order to live authentically we have to check in on our values.
Speaker A:So for example, one of my values and truthfulness.
Speaker A:And I like to be told the truth.
Speaker A:I prefer to be told the truth.
Speaker A:However, when I looked at my alignment to my truthfulness, I kept finding that were people lying around me and I thought, why are people lying?
Speaker A:And I realized that actually I wasn't being authentic to one of my values because what I would say is, I'm so sorry I'm late, Ollie, the traffic was really bad now, you were early today.
Speaker A:Sorry I'm late.
Speaker B:It was very impressive.
Speaker A:I was because it's a value, so.
Speaker A:But I would then drop in that lie, that little white lie because of the people pleasing nature of oh, I don't want Ollie to think I'm a bad person.
Speaker A:So what I'll do is I'll just make up this little lie to make it sound better.
Speaker A:And actually that's not living authentically.
Speaker A:So if you want truthfulness, then by gosh, you've got to live by it and you've got to own it and you've got authentically by it.
Speaker A:But if truthfulness isn't one of your values, but you're telling everybody it is, then go back to those values and go, well, actually, is it really a value?
Speaker A:Am I leading?
Speaker A:Am I living that truthfully?
Speaker A:Authentically?
Speaker A:And if you're not, go look at your values.
Speaker A:Because once you look at those values and if you're living to them, that's authentic, that's truthful, that's real, that's genuine.
Speaker A:And once you live to those values or you realize where they're not aligned, that's when things change.
Speaker A:For example, my whole life changed because my values, I wasn't living in alignment values, it shifted and I think once that changes, you can then find out, well, what genuinely is authentic and what is a slight variation on what you are trying to be authentic with or moving into.
Speaker A:And when does it become true authenticity or just authentic?
Speaker B:So you.
Speaker B:Yes, okay, so you believed that you were being authentic, but actually you were almost projecting outwards what people were then giving you back or vice versa.
Speaker B:So you were slightly shifting true authenticity because you wanted to.
Speaker B:Yeah, you wanted to create a certain outcome and you wanted to not appear a certain way.
Speaker B:And therefore it was the acceptance and it was the radical going fully into the truthfulness.
Speaker B:So how does that manifest itself now?
Speaker B:Do you literally just say, oh, I'm sorry I'm late, I had to get a cup of tea?
Speaker B:As in the why lie?
Speaker B:Aspect, you own it.
Speaker A:I own it.
Speaker A:Now I have confidence to own it because now I have changed and shifted from what I did do, where I did work to where I work now.
Speaker A:So I had to go through that uncomfortable stage of actually if I'm not being truthful, then I can either keep going in this wonky, non authentic way or I can change.
Speaker A:And now I own it.
Speaker A:I just own it.
Speaker A:And I say, and again the same to my daughter now that I've got a daughter.
Speaker A:And I say own it.
Speaker A:Don't lie, just own it.
Speaker A:Because if you own something, we're more likely to have that forgiveness or that, you know, people around us are more likely to show us some empathy when we own it and say this hands up is on me.
Speaker A:It happens.
Speaker A:They're more likely to.
Speaker A:To like you more because you're being truthful rather than you perceiving what you want them to like you for.
Speaker A:You know, you're putting that perception onto them.
Speaker A:So I find now that I can own it more, I can sit my own strength a lot more.
Speaker A:I've got a lot more self love about myself.
Speaker A:So I know that I'm always coming from a place of kindness now, not trying to come from a place of people pleasing.
Speaker A:And there's so many people that still are in the element of people pleasing either to avoid confrontation or they're trying to get through a, you know, toxic workplace or environments they're living in.
Speaker A:They're just trying to navigate.
Speaker A:So they can't be their true authentic self because they might not have that ability to do that or the security to do it.
Speaker B:God, people pleasing, I haven't heard that term in a while.
Speaker B:Actually.
Speaker B:I had a.
Speaker B:We did a hope is obviously exceptionally relevant.
Speaker B:I had a whole podcast where we were speaking about people Pleasing?
Speaker B:Why do you think I know you?
Speaker B:To be fair, that's a rubbish question.
Speaker B:You literally just said it's to avoid conflict because conflict is painful.
Speaker B:Well, it's painful in the short term, but it might be beneficial in the long term.
Speaker B:And it's usually tends to be a bit more of a stereotypically female or women thing to do because they're more agreeable than men often.
Speaker B:How long did it take you to realize that people pleasing was an issue for you?
Speaker B:And what was the sort of turning point in working out that it wasn't beneficial?
Speaker A:I think it gets to the point where you feel not comfortable and something feels uncomfortable and you can't put your finger on it.
Speaker A:So I think with people pleasing, a lot of us, probably a lot of us who are listening to this don't realize that we are people pleasing.
Speaker A:It's not a conscious effort.
Speaker A:I think it's quite a subconscious level and I think it's a lot of limited beliefs.
Speaker A:People won't like me.
Speaker A:If we tell ourselves old stories that we heard and have listened to and keep repeating.
Speaker A:70 to 8% of our thoughts are negative thoughts, 95% of those are repetitive.
Speaker A:So unless we change that story and something happens to us to change that story, we'll keep going.
Speaker A:For me, a critical point of people pleasing was when I was working in a job that I had to people please in order just to survive.
Speaker A:So when I decided I didn't want to survive and I didn't want to do that anymore as I made that transition from one job to the next, that's when you can create your new rules, your new values, your new boundaries.
Speaker A:Because often when you're in a position already, it's like in a relationship you've formed this kind of world, or in a work relationship, you've formed an agreement already almost.
Speaker A:So you have to do something that has to change.
Speaker A:You have to shift quite dramatically, I think, in order for you to re establish how you don't or do want to be.
Speaker A:And I do often think with people pleasing, it looks different to, to lots of people.
Speaker A:Like you said just so brilliantly before, people don't, you know, say their truth because they don't want that confrontation.
Speaker A:But you can learn that actually you don't have to have the confrontation, you just have to own your truth and be comfortable with your own self.
Speaker A:And there's lots of people that aren't comfortable inside and they're looking to their outer world consistently to find that comfort because it feels so deep and hard inside.
Speaker A:So we People please, to make ourselves feel better.
Speaker A:Because we get that, you know, that love back.
Speaker A:That we can't feel ourselves inside, perhaps.
Speaker B:Do you know that there's a quote that says something like most of people's issues stem from their inability to sit on their own in a empty room for like, half an hour or something.
Speaker B:I remember when I was at school during science, the teacher brought in this bottle of water and oil.
Speaker B:And we were learning about, like, emulsions.
Speaker B:And he would shake it up and all the water and oil would, like, mix and collide and everything.
Speaker B:And then when you let it settle, they would separate out.
Speaker B:And I don't think I thought about it at that point, but when I was reflecting on it, it came back to me.
Speaker B:And I thought that's what the human mind is a little bit like.
Speaker B:And society.
Speaker B:I mean, there's a deeper topic in which is the degree to which society is doing everything it can to continually make us shake so that we're continuously merged with the.
Speaker B:I don't know if it's the positive, the negative thoughts, but it's maybe adaptive and maladaptive or it's limiting or whatever the opposite of limiting is beneficial.
Speaker B:I always use the word beneficial.
Speaker B:I need a better word.
Speaker B:But the point was, is that if you let the brain.
Speaker B:If you let the.
Speaker B:You sit, that's where the different layers and the different sort of aspects of who you are might separate out.
Speaker B:And people find that really painful.
Speaker B:So they do everything they can to continually keep the bottle shaking.
Speaker B:And that's where, you know.
Speaker B:And one way of doing that is to engage in acts that distract us.
Speaker B:And I think I saw the other day, I saw, well, two things.
Speaker B:One is that doing nothing for like, two hours, literally nothing has been proven to regrow.
Speaker B:Like, I think either brain cells or gray matter in the brain or something.
Speaker B:Something really beneficial that no one knew was possible.
Speaker B:It might be rubbish.
Speaker B:But then the other thing that I saw was that this guy was talking about the importance of being bored and how necessary it is to be bored.
Speaker B:And I know we sort of hear that.
Speaker B:You hear that growing up, or at least I did a lot, but you don't really understand why.
Speaker B:And I should probably delve further into it.
Speaker B:But can you relate to that, the bottle analogy that I just came up, that I just used of keeping everything shake shooken so that we are almost oblivious to what's truly going on inside?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And it feels safe to shake the bottle for me.
Speaker A:A lot of people ask me a lot of questions.
Speaker A:What do I think spirituality is what it mean to me.
Speaker A:And it will mean something different to everybody.
Speaker A:But for me, spirituality means an acceptance that there's something more.
Speaker A:There's something more, something higher self, something that connects us in some way.
Speaker A:And when you talk about letting that bottle settle and sitting with that peace and that quiet, there are certain things that we talk about doing that can help that.
Speaker A:That settle, that make it less uncomfortable.
Speaker A:So people's, you know, meditation, mindfulness, as we briefly talk before getting out in nature.
Speaker A:Some people work with crystals.
Speaker A:I love to work with crystals for the same reason.
Speaker A:There are small nuggets that you can put into your life to help that water and oil settle without just thinking, I've got to go cold turkey and stop shake.
Speaker A:It's like trying to put little different things in place that you can do that helps that settle.
Speaker A:And when we come home, we can realize, well, what is it that I need in order for me to feel bored or for my neural pathways to reconnect?
Speaker A:Huge one is gratitude.
Speaker A:It's exactly similar what to what you said about being bored.
Speaker A:The neural pathways or the stems, actually, when you practice gratitude, you can actually physically see scientifically how they reform just by practicing gratitude.
Speaker A:And people say that can't be the case.
Speaker A:You can't just simply practice gratitude, but it's controlling those thoughts.
Speaker A:And most of us allow our thoughts to run around our body like petulant small children without stopping them and without realizing that we actually have got power over them.
Speaker A:They have got an energy.
Speaker A:They can take that energy around their body.
Speaker A:So you can choose whether you choose a positive thought or a negative thought.
Speaker A:You can choose whether it's a happy one or a sad one.
Speaker A:And they will come consistently.
Speaker A:But we are choosing them.
Speaker A:They are our thoughts.
Speaker A:No one's putting them in there for us.
Speaker A:And I think that can help that bottle analogy.
Speaker A:So just to allow us to stick with our thoughts is quite difficult and painful at the start.
Speaker A:But once you put little things into help, eventually you just sit there and be less bored, but just be more at peace, which, again, we all want peace.
Speaker B:Peace is the ultimate goal of life.
Speaker B:I think as I get older, I realize that is actually what we want.
Speaker B:That is what we should aim for.
Speaker B:Maybe not be what we want.
Speaker B:But what does peace really mean?
Speaker B:It means acceptance.
Speaker B:Peace mean.
Speaker B:That's a good question.
Speaker A:For me, peace means when you can put your hand on your stomach and not have any flutters in there.
Speaker A:No worry, no anxiety.
Speaker A:You can just hold space for yourself and just be.
Speaker A:And if you can do that in Any situation, whether it's a crowded room, football match, theater, or even on your own, your bedroom, if you can hold that space to yourself, you've got peace.
Speaker A:You can take that peace anywhere you want.
Speaker A:And it comes from inside.
Speaker A:It's the same as what do you class success.
Speaker A:As you'd have asked me as a teenager or even, you know, when I was on TV working, what does success mean?
Speaker A:Success to me now means peace.
Speaker A:If I can successfully take peace with me everywhere and I've got success, everything else is a bonus.
Speaker A:And it literally is a bonus because there's no point having everything and all the things in the world if you can't be at peace.
Speaker A:Because you keep seeking, seeking, seeking, seeking to try and find the thing that makes you feel peaceful.
Speaker A:And it can only come from inside.
Speaker A:And it's an inside job, should we say?
Speaker B:Yeah, and maybe it's also a time job in the sense of maybe it's something that becomes easier as we age, as maybe it's when you're young, when you're younger, maybe not.
Speaker B:I mean, wisdom and age not necessarily aren't linked, but maybe there's more of a benefit to being slightly less at peace when you're younger because it maybe can drive you forward and it can do this.
Speaker B:And then as you realize it was sort of what we were talking about earlier when you were talking about people pleasing and this, the quote came in my head of, when you're 20, you care what everyone else thinks.
Speaker B:When you're 40, you stop caring what everyone else thinks.
Speaker B:And when you're 60, you realize that no one cared and no one was.
Speaker B:Yeah, no one cared in the first place.
Speaker B:So maybe likelihood is as a theme that often crops up in life for me and in general is you have to go through the process yourself, which everyone knows that that's a very cliche.
Speaker B:We're not.
Speaker B:Yeah, we're dead.
Speaker A:To go over that whole journey.
Speaker A:Like, we chose our journey to come down and experience what we're experiencing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And you can't have peace when you're trying to experience a journey.
Speaker A:But what you can do is come back to peace, because there's always going to be something that happens.
Speaker A:And this is what we talked about in your brilliant podcast.
Speaker A:It's always something that's going to happen.
Speaker A:What's your breaking point?
Speaker A:What's the thing that comes.
Speaker A:So even though you find peak ego, I found peace.
Speaker A:Something else is going to happen and something else is going to happen.
Speaker A:So it's like, how do you navigate through this journey?
Speaker A:By Experiencing your human journey and having those human life skills, but yet still being able to go, well, I don't have to be, you know, all or nothing.
Speaker A:We have to have the balance and that's the part of us that can come forward to navigate the journey with that peace in us.
Speaker A:And if we look to the chakras, some of the highest chakras only ever form when we're like in our 40s and 50s anyway, which is like we always say, oh, if I know that, when I know, you know, if I'd have known that now, you know, when, when I was younger.
Speaker A:But you've got to have that journey.
Speaker A:We've all got to have that life experience.
Speaker A:We just don't have to have it so unpeaceably.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What do you mean when you say that we chose this?
Speaker B:Someone else has said this on episode before and I sort of brushed over it, but I'm going to go into it with you.
Speaker B:What do you mean we chose this experience?
Speaker B:That's an interesting concept.
Speaker A:So, from my perspective, because of what I believe and where I sit spiritually, and I believe that as we're all connected and every single one of us is a soul, that's come down to have a human experience, that's what we're here to do.
Speaker A:We're here to experience that we had chosen a soul contract of what we wanted to experience.
Speaker A:We don't know how, we don't know when, we don't know who with and we don't know what that's going to look like, but we know that we're going to have these human experiences and as dramatic as they may seem, we want to have them.
Speaker A:So when these come upon us and people often say, well, I didn't choose this, or this is not what I meant, or this is really awful.
Speaker A:Why this?
Speaker A:It's the experience we're having.
Speaker A:And that soul contract of the day we were born, to the day that we leave, it's a chosen journey and sometimes it's very difficult when those journeys are small.
Speaker A:And I can talk from experience on that one, from my own, you know, fertility experience, not to trigger anyone.
Speaker A:I can talk about that from losing my own mum.
Speaker A:You know, the perspectives that I've been through.
Speaker A:You know, I choose to navigate this journey because I know that I'm here to do it and that's why I'm here.
Speaker A:That's my soul journey, my soul contract.
Speaker A:And I actually think that it gives you a sense of support when the tough times come, because they do and they will.
Speaker A:That's what I believe.
Speaker B:So do you know who Carl Jung is?
Speaker B:The psychologist?
Speaker B:So he had this concept of the true self.
Speaker B:And he.
Speaker B:And that concept was that every decision or everything that.
Speaker B:Oh, how would you.
Speaker B:It was basically like determinism through the lens of psychology.
Speaker B:What sorry?
Speaker A:Like an attracting in.
Speaker A:So you're.
Speaker A:You're bringing in or you're working with.
Speaker A:It's all laid out for you and you're navigating it through that.
Speaker B:That's a good way of putting it.
Speaker B:It's already laid out for you.
Speaker B:And I've just seen another.
Speaker B:I saw another post recently about.
Speaker B:They were talking about quantum.
Speaker B:Like quantum energy or quantum.
Speaker B:Quantum physics.
Speaker B:And they were talking about how there's this thing called the observer effect and it's how particles change when you observe them or something.
Speaker B:And they were linking it back to.
Speaker B:Anyway, when I do these.
Speaker B:I should really have these things down as notes.
Speaker B:If they're relevant, I should bookmark them.
Speaker B:But the idea is really interesting with.
Speaker B:Carl Jung's idea is really interesting.
Speaker B:The idea that every decision is almost already planned out for you.
Speaker B:And then it's a case of you.
Speaker B:Maybe that's.
Speaker B:And then the, the unraveling of that is either maybe a gut instinct or it's maybe something along those lines.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:But it links back into the.
Speaker B:There's a Christian idea of like the conscience, which is.
Speaker B:Relates to Christianity because the film Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket, JC and the idea.
Speaker B:There's a belief that Jesus was the embodiment of what a human being could be if they abided by their consciousness with every decision they ever had.
Speaker B:They listened to their.
Speaker B:What?
Speaker B:You know, that voice that tells you in your head, oh, you shouldn't do this.
Speaker B:And then you sort of just ignore it.
Speaker B:And then you do it and you realize, actually, yeah, that was right.
Speaker B:I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker B:Or maybe it's a feeling or it's.
Speaker B:Maybe the voice is the wrong terminology.
Speaker B:But the idea was that Jesus was the epitomization intuition.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, there we go.
Speaker B:The intuition.
Speaker B:Jesus was the potential epitomization of that intuition if it was played out to its full extreme.
Speaker B:And that's why he was an ideal.
Speaker B:Because everyone falls short of an ideal because an idea isn't an actual entity.
Speaker B:It's a concept void of any flaws.
Speaker B:So therefore it's impossible to achieve and emulate because that's not reality.
Speaker B:But the Carl Jung idea I think is really interesting based on what you just said.
Speaker B:And I really.
Speaker B:I mean, it's far easier in life, to draw the dots backwards, obviously it is.
Speaker B:And it's far easy to look back and to fill in the gaps and to input or no, implement, meaning when there may not be.
Speaker B:I like that idea.
Speaker B:My brain queries it a bit, but I think it's an interesting idea and I think it's.
Speaker B:Maybe it fleshes out, it's maybe another angle.
Speaker B:It's coming at the same concept from a different angle.
Speaker B:That's potentially the key.
Speaker A:I like observation because observation for me is a lot of the time what you're doing when you respond instead of react.
Speaker A:And what happens is there's an event and then people either react to it or respond to it, and then you've got an outcome.
Speaker A:Now, when you observe, you respond.
Speaker A:When you're not observing and you're in the moment and you're triggered and you.
Speaker A:And all your energy's all over the place, you react both ways.
Speaker A:You're going to get an outcome.
Speaker A:And if you don't get the outcome you want, I always believe what's for you will always find you.
Speaker A:What's created for you is always going to come around for you.
Speaker A:So you might keep reacting until such a lesson's learned that you just go, I need to stop reacting.
Speaker A:I need to stop playing out the same way because I keep getting the same result.
Speaker A:You respond, you get a different outcome, and then your path moves on.
Speaker A:So I just think that observation comes in so many different forms.
Speaker A:We can state it in different forms, but the best way for me to analyze it in my head and to work with people like I do consistently, is when you stop reacting and you respond and you observe the situation, your outcome will be different.
Speaker A:And that for me, is such a lovely, powerful way to navigate through things.
Speaker B:And I never really got that when I was younger, but I'm actually starting to get it now.
Speaker B:You know, it's going back.
Speaker B:I don't know if it's.
Speaker B:It's Jung, but there's.
Speaker B:I think he did say there's the idea that if you don't accept what lies in your unconscious, it will continue to manifest itself in your life and you will call it fate.
Speaker B:And I'm noticing similar patterns emerging in my life.
Speaker B:And I'm like, why is this same thing happened again?
Speaker B:And then I've started to think, yeah, maybe there's.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I mean, you're putting the spiritual side of it, and I'm coming at it from the more psychological side of it.
Speaker B:And that's what I was alluding to earlier when I said we're coming at it from different angles, but it's the same concept.
Speaker B:So yeah, how do you help people that do people carry on with that idea?
Speaker B:Because I think it's really interesting.
Speaker B:How do you help people that come to you and say, oh yeah, this thing keeps happening, what do I do Energetically?
Speaker A:So it's energetically, it's a reaction.
Speaker A:So we're reacting to something.
Speaker A:So all these events that have happened to us, like we were talking just then in our life, they happen.
Speaker A:We can't change them because that's what they are there to do.
Speaker A:But we can certainly change the energy that's attached to it.
Speaker A:And an energy attached to it is a recurring feeling.
Speaker A:So everything that happens within our bodies is a reaction to a feeling.
Speaker A:So every thought we have create a feeling.
Speaker A:Now within our system we have a three part energy system.
Speaker A:And the main one is the seven chakras, means Sanskrit, the wheel.
Speaker A:And these wheels of energy that run through us form from right in between our legs, our root chakra.
Speaker A:Then just to below your abdomen, your sacral stomach, ego, your solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye and crown.
Speaker A:And these individual chakras, these wheels of light, allow energy to move up and down.
Speaker A:Because energy is formed every time you reproduce a new self scientifically.
Speaker A:Great book.
Speaker A:Why Woo Woo works, if anyone ever wants to read it.
Speaker A:Great book.
Speaker A:And it's about how your body energetically works.
Speaker A:Everything vibrates, everything's energies.
Speaker A:Einstein said we know this, but what we don't do is recognize that it's in our body.
Speaker A:So every time this energy moves or something happens to us, our body keeps score again.
Speaker A:Another great book.
Speaker A:And our body holds onto that energy.
Speaker A:So the next time something similar happens, the feeling reminds us of how we felt that time.
Speaker A:And then we have a reaction because that's how that thing made us feel.
Speaker A:So if we were at school, something happened to us, somebody made us feel a certain way, we didn't have our voice, we couldn't shout back, we couldn't talk about it.
Speaker A:When we become an adult and somebody makes us feel the same way, we go go for.
Speaker A:Because we've got a voice now and I'm an adult and I'm going to fight with that energy that still reminds me of the feeling I had over there.
Speaker A:So like I say, the event doesn't change, but the energy can.
Speaker A:And as you move the energy and you change that energy and we rewrite that story and we speak to yourself in a different way, change the narrative, you change the energy, you change the energy in your body, you're changing the way you're reacting to, responding.
Speaker A:So I work with your energy and particularly work with crystals.
Speaker A:Certain crystals are very good for certain things.
Speaker A:But crystals aside, it's all about that mindset change.
Speaker A:So people say, yeah, but I can't all the time.
Speaker A:You'll hear your own often catch my own.
Speaker A:Yeah, but the trouble is, the thing is I'm too old for that.
Speaker A:It'll never change, never works out for me.
Speaker A:And all of this kind of storytelling on, it's like hold, hold.
Speaker A:Yeah, be accountable for it.
Speaker A:Like what you're saying.
Speaker A:Like words and people talk about stuff, spells and songs, you know, they're all work.
Speaker A:Everything we say, everything we hear creates a feeling.
Speaker A:And that feeling is where we manifest from or what feeling is where we come from.
Speaker A:It's never in your mind, it's never from up here, it's always from in your body.
Speaker A:And then it comes up from your gut.
Speaker A:Vagus speaks to our head, our head sticks to our body.
Speaker A:Chastise ourselves.
Speaker A:Stupid thing.
Speaker A:What did you do that for?
Speaker A:You never get anything right.
Speaker A:All this internal monologues happening.
Speaker A:But it goes back to what I said to you before.
Speaker A:Who's stopping it?
Speaker A:Who's going in saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, that's not how we speak.
Speaker A:We wouldn't speak to somebody like that.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Sticking to self like that.
Speaker A:And we change that story and it's at the end of the day, it all comes from you.
Speaker A:You know, there's no one, no one's coming to save you.
Speaker A:You know, it's your, it's your mind, it's your words.
Speaker A:If you're not happy, we change it.
Speaker A:But it starts small.
Speaker A:And that's how I work with people's energy.
Speaker A:We find out what's the cause reaction.
Speaker A:And it's usually an ego thing.
Speaker A:So it's sucker punched right in your ego and that's like, that's your human self.
Speaker A:You know that when somebody cuts you up from road rage and you feel disrespected, comes back to those values I was telling you about before.
Speaker A:Being respected might be a key value of yours.
Speaker A:And by somebody not respecting you, it winds you up because you're being disrespected.
Speaker A:And that's a trigger for you.
Speaker A:And that can happen in the workplace, it can happen with friendships.
Speaker A:Lots of these things cause you to react.
Speaker A:Whereas we go, actually let me step back, let me observe this situation.
Speaker A:Why am I getting so angry?
Speaker A:Why am I getting so cross about it?
Speaker A:Let me observe this emotion, sit with it.
Speaker A:And then realize, actually I'm not angry at this person.
Speaker A:I'm angry because I've been triggered by something that I need to let go of or I need to revisit and heal in some formal way.
Speaker A:And that is how I tend to work with people, with their energy.
Speaker A:In a nutshell.
Speaker B:That's a great.
Speaker B:That's a brilliant answer.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Chakras.
Speaker B:Chakras.
Speaker B:What an interesting topic.
Speaker B:I definitely think there's something there I believe in.
Speaker B:There's this exercise that I started doing a few years ago where you suck in your stomach and your PC muscles.
Speaker B:I think it was Joe Dispenza.
Speaker B:You must know who Joe Dispenza is.
Speaker B:Have you heard of him?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Oh, you don't like him?
Speaker B:That's the face we've discussed.
Speaker A:No, I'm just, I. I'm a lot.
Speaker A:I'm very interested in lots of people's perspectives and where they come from.
Speaker A:And I'm always about what's the why?
Speaker A:What's the why?
Speaker B:Well, the why for me was the exercise that he heard him talk about that I've tried and has been.
Speaker B:I don't know what impact it has, but it feels.
Speaker B:Definitely feels something.
Speaker B:It's where you suck in your.
Speaker B:Your PC muscles and then your stomach.
Speaker B:And the idea is that.
Speaker B:I think it relates it to the chakra, the idea that gravity pulls a lot of energy.
Speaker B:We spend a lot of time in these lower chakras associated with reproduction and digestion, obviously, because they're like our pro.
Speaker B:They're our primal drives.
Speaker B:They're the most powerful.
Speaker B:They're.
Speaker B:They're the.
Speaker B:What would you say?
Speaker B:They're the double decker bus that we're driving around in and we're the driver in the front.
Speaker B:So a lot of energy resides there.
Speaker B:And the, the exercise is to tense and to try and move.
Speaker B:I think he calls.
Speaker B:It's either a liquid, like spinal liquid or something, or it's crystals.
Speaker B:But the idea is that it goes into the brain and it activates these little crystals.
Speaker B:And I don't understand the science, but I do understand is the feeling, wow, if you.
Speaker B:It's ridiculous.
Speaker B:If you, if you can do it correctly, sometimes it doesn't really work, but it does.
Speaker B:There is this bodily sort of shift and then like I shake when I do it and I. I need to find out what it's called.
Speaker B:It is like a regarded exercise.
Speaker B:Other people talk about it, but that was my sort of forte into to genuinely thinking chakras are sort of.
Speaker B:Yeah, there's something to explore and discuss there.
Speaker B:So what question I was just written down as you were talking.
Speaker B:Do certain issues in life arise from trapped energy in specific chakras?
Speaker B:Is that like a phenomenon?
Speaker A:From my perspective, yes.
Speaker A:So your root chakras formed between the ages of 0 to 5, then that is your safety, that's your security, that's your.
Speaker A:You just so beautifully wrote said then about the double decker bus that is your home.
Speaker A:That's the basic needs is safety, it's shelter, it's away from harm.
Speaker A:That's a basic need.
Speaker A:Once we've got that sorted, we can then move into the other needs.
Speaker A:So we can't move forward until we've got that safety.
Speaker A:And that's usually formed between those ages.
Speaker A:Again, when you're first born and you think about the fears that you have, you don't tend to have the fears that you have as you get older.
Speaker A:You're not born with major fears.
Speaker A:I think it's a fear of falling and the fear of noises, something like that.
Speaker B:Loud noises.
Speaker A:Loud noises.
Speaker A:And the second one you say called Chef Cre.
Speaker A: Now this is: Speaker A:And again, beautifully put by yourself about the reproduction.
Speaker A:A woman and a gentleman between the ages of 6 and 16.
Speaker A:So much happens within that time.
Speaker A:But this is known as your feelings zone.
Speaker A:Your sexuality, your creativity, your sense of belonging, your feelings and how you understand what your feelings mean.
Speaker A:So when your feelings get hurt or you'll feel your way through something, if you think about the many, many, you know, moons ago, we would think about the feel of something.
Speaker A:We would feel the change in the energy and as native primal beings we would think, hang on, I don't feel safe, I can feel something's changed.
Speaker A:So we really used to those chakras a lot.
Speaker A:Now we don't.
Speaker A:We'll just go on a nap and go, is it going to rain?
Speaker A:Feels like it might rain.
Speaker A:We don't use our senses.
Speaker A:I think Dr. Tara Swartz just did a new book called the Signs and she says, you know, we've got way more senses than we used because we just don't use them anymore.
Speaker A:You know, we don't fall into them.
Speaker A:So like people used to feel it.
Speaker A:My water, I can feel it in my water.
Speaker A:I can feel it in my bones, I can feel it.
Speaker A:Then it moves up in the chakra.
Speaker A:Psychics play and they form it, they're always there, but they just really, truly come into their own as they get older.
Speaker A:So a lot of the wise men and the wise women, if you think back up to the crown chakra that's formed in like your late 40s through 50s, some practitioners say different times but generally about that age.
Speaker A:So when you have like the mother maiden and the crone, the crone of the group would be like the wise woman you'd go to for all the wisdom that you know, the men of the.
Speaker A:They would be the people with all the knowledge.
Speaker A:And I think it's that understanding that each chakra has a meaning and it has a form.
Speaker A:Your ego like your 20s and your 30s.
Speaker A:We can both, I mean whoever 20, 25, 30 year old Lynn is, is certainly she wouldn't like this Lynn, she was out with high heels, she was having a lovely time and people pleasing.
Speaker A:She hadn't got a clue.
Speaker A:But that's, that's great that she didn't have a clue because that was my journey, that was what I was doing.
Speaker A:And in my 40s and now I'm in my late 40s and I'm all about now I'm here, you know, I'm up in these higher chakras, communicate my truth, speak my truth.
Speaker A:Like you said beautifully before, when did I stop people pleasing?
Speaker A:I've got love, so much love.
Speaker A:And it's like I'm okay, say I love myself.
Speaker A:It's not like love me, it's not like it's like I'm so alright with me because genuinely I, I know that my, the things I do are coming from that place.
Speaker A:And then you move up.
Speaker A:So all this energy forms and is triggered by things that happen to us at those times.
Speaker A:So going back to your question, if you felt unsafe and if you have been in times in your life where it's not been great and that happens and has happened, whether that's a big T or a little T for trauma, it's relevant to you and it's your relevance and it's not to be compared.
Speaker A:And often people say, well I haven't had such a hard time, this person's been through that.
Speaker A:This isn't about comparisons, it's just about your soul journey and what you're learning and what your truth is.
Speaker A:And those energies that stick within your system can cause you dis ease.
Speaker A:And that dis ease in your body is gut problems, ibs, anxiety, heartburn, headaches, migraines.
Speaker A:This is energetic.
Speaker A:Again, I absolutely work with science.
Speaker A:I love science.
Speaker A:I love the fact that we can talk about it from a psychiatrist.
Speaker A:However it is, the fact that we're talking about it is brilliant.
Speaker A:This isn't about I'm right, you're wrong, this is about let's just do something great and create good energy so that people have pockets of where it sits for them wherever you sit, as long as it feels good, come back feeling, then you lean into how it feels.
Speaker A:And if it makes you feel good and you're a good person for it, then that's how your energy is going to be.
Speaker A:And then it comes out, stands out.
Speaker A:And that's when you go into the 12 laws of the universe.
Speaker A:And you've probably heard of the law of attraction, the law of vibration, you know the all the laws, but it's from you, it's your spirit, your soul, your energy.
Speaker A:You can feel it when someone walks into a room, you know, you know, you just know even before they speak.
Speaker A:And you know their energy arrives before they do.
Speaker A:And people don't realize that can have the poshest clothes in the world.
Speaker A:But if your energy isn't okay, you know, an energetic work, they're going to know that for you, even open your mouth.
Speaker A:So it's like be aware, have some observation on your energy and who's in charge of it.
Speaker A:It's who you are.
Speaker A:You don't have to formulate anything.
Speaker A:You just trust who you are and you'll trust that your words and your wisdom will come through, you know.
Speaker B:Okay, yeah, authenticity, isn't it?
Speaker B:That's the key.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah, nice.
Speaker B:Own it.
Speaker B:Yeah, it is interesting how there's the whole world of how the little, the degree to which we understand.
Speaker B:Because you just spoke about the energy, the energy of walking into a room.
Speaker B:There's that whole world that we're such novices to.
Speaker B:Well, at least the layperson is such a novice too.
Speaker B:And it's how to what degree do you think?
Speaker B:I know it's like the whole sort of body language and is a huge aspect of communication, but what percentage of like truly understanding God.
Speaker B:This is such a big question.
Speaker B:I need to specify a bit more.
Speaker B:What percentage of energetic experience and the degree to which it manifests tangibly manifests in our lives?
Speaker B:Do people understand?
Speaker B:Do you understand what I mean?
Speaker B:How influential can this energetic world and sphere be?
Speaker B:And the degree to which, what degree are we consuming it without even realizing that we're consuming?
Speaker A:It's still not for me.
Speaker A:I'm not very good at maths.
Speaker A:I'm no good at maths.
Speaker A:But I can certainly tell you that you and everyone listening is an energetic being.
Speaker A:So you are first and foremost energy, that is everything you are.
Speaker A:So often people will say you've got a soul, the spark inside you, the Light that's within you.
Speaker A:You've got all these words that people have said in the past.
Speaker A:You know, you own your own light and they touch your heart, and you're all about inside that, that thing that's inside.
Speaker A:One thing we are aware of scientifically is energy can't die.
Speaker A:You know, it's a whole new concept.
Speaker A:But your energy, who you are, your energy is way more than the carcass that you.
Speaker A:That this is surrounding you.
Speaker A:I mean, this whole exterior that you are is great, and that's fine, but it's not who you are.
Speaker A:You are your energy.
Speaker A:You are the words you speak, you are the thought you say.
Speaker A:You are the love you project.
Speaker A:You are the anger you hold.
Speaker A:You are the.
Speaker A:The laughter inside.
Speaker A:You hold all of that.
Speaker A:And all of that is an energy.
Speaker A:So when you feel someone with you or near you, sometimes your whole energy system can calm and you go away from that person and you just know.
Speaker A:You feel calm, but you can't say why.
Speaker A:There's no science, there's no words.
Speaker A:There's no understanding.
Speaker A:It's a feeling.
Speaker A:And because we can't put science words on feelings, we have to trust then.
Speaker A:And then that comes into the big word of hope.
Speaker A:Everybody has hope.
Speaker A:We know our email's gonna go.
Speaker A:We know we can, you know, wi fi is working.
Speaker A:We completely trust that.
Speaker A:We completely have that.
Speaker A:But when we start to talk about energy and our energy and what we're emitting.
Speaker A:You've got hand chakras.
Speaker A:If you ever hold hands with somebody and it feels really lovely, and then you hold hands with someone else and you then get off or you spend time around them, it's their energy.
Speaker A:So you've got three parts.
Speaker A:You've got your actual aura.
Speaker A:Like that Dirty Dancing film.
Speaker A:This is my dance space.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:You've got your aura and you can be in someone's owner and you can feel it.
Speaker A:You can feel what they are.
Speaker A:So there's a concept called human design.
Speaker A:And you come down as one of five different souls that might be for another podcast, Dolly on another day.
Speaker A:But as.
Speaker A:As a soul, as a person, you come down in a certain way into this.
Speaker A:Into this beautiful world that we're creating and we're helping and we're supporting and we're navigating through and within that you are here to do a certain thing.
Speaker A:Whether that's project and stay, whether it's to help, whether it's to create, whether it's to cause friction, whatever it is to do, your energy is doing it.
Speaker A:And that's why we gravitate towards certain people.
Speaker A:So we'll either gravitate to other people that are like us so that we can all stay cross and angry because I'm going to spend more time with those people because that fuels mine, or I'm going to retreat from those people because actually you aggravate my nervous system.
Speaker A:And now I'm in fight or flight all the time.
Speaker A:And that part of our nervous system that fight or flight and that rest and digest is so vital to our being, to our energy system.
Speaker A:And so many of us think we're resting, we're watching telly, we're sat there chilling, but inside we are just reeling over an old conversation.
Speaker A:Another one is when you think about an argument you're going to have with somebody or a discussion, you role play this whole thing in your head.
Speaker A:Like I'll say this and then they'll say that and then I'll do this and they'll do that and then we'll do this.
Speaker A:I use this whole role play, your energy, because it's not human, doesn't understand that that's not happening.
Speaker A:So every time you role play in your mind and you find yourself getting wound up, your energy goes, oh, we angry, we bound up.
Speaker A:Okay, we'll do more of that.
Speaker A:So then you go to bed.
Speaker A:I've been up with big brother, I've gone to bed livid.
Speaker A:What's going on, Ellie?
Speaker A:What's happening?
Speaker A:Because you get wound up by things, but your energy, your body doesn't know it's not happening to you.
Speaker A:So it's like when we stop that, I don't get the role play.
Speaker A:I go, no, stop, stop.
Speaker A:First of all is the word stop.
Speaker A:Then I go into gratitude and just say three random things I'm grateful for and then I move again.
Speaker A:It's like flipping the pillow when you've had a nightmare or change or laughing, you know, change the air, change the energy, change the mood, change the reaction.
Speaker A:So it's like you said, I don't know what percentage that is, but everything you do is energy.
Speaker A:Everything you admit, everything you say, every action you do, there's energy behind it in some way.
Speaker B:God, that role playing thing, so relevant for me right now.
Speaker B:It's amazing how it's ridiculous how you can elicit such a strong feeling through a scenario that doesn't even, isn't even existing right now.
Speaker B:I've caught myself so many times recently going, I'm going to say this and then they're going to say that and I'm going to tell them.
Speaker B:And this is.
Speaker B:And then I like feel the feelings and I'm like, what the heck is going on, Ollie?
Speaker B:Literally, you're literally sat in your, you're sat at your desk doing something on the riverside and you're, you're getting in this strong emotion.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:But that's, that's why we love drama and why we love films and why we love watching.
Speaker B:It's because our brains.
Speaker A:You go, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.
Speaker A:I work with a lady called Karen Blick, Lisa Riley, they're from Emmerdale.
Speaker A:Lisa Riley plays Mandy and Karen plays Lydia.
Speaker A:And I work closely with them because they have quite strong storylines and some of you may or may not remember if you are a soap fan.
Speaker A:Lydia went through a very, very traumatic storyline and I worked with Karen, so that Karen was Karen and Lydia was Lydia.
Speaker A:Because if you're a great actress and a great actor, as I'd like to think I was many years ago, you want to step into their shoes so that you can feel what they're feeling, so that you can go through that to do a good performance.
Speaker A:But most actors and actresses have a very difficult time because their body then thinks that's happened to them.
Speaker A:So we have to re.
Speaker A:Educate the body that it wasn't.
Speaker A:So we went with crystals and shoes.
Speaker A:She had certain types of clothing.
Speaker A:We made sure that we monitored her energy so that she could still give a fantastic performance, yet still keep that separate from who she was as a person.
Speaker A:So I find it so interesting.
Speaker A:Like you say, I'm always a bit like, you've got to be really mindful of how you're speaking, what you're doing.
Speaker A:And like I go back to before, how free are your thoughts?
Speaker A:Like, how are you just letting them run around?
Speaker A:Are you coming in and go, top stop?
Speaker A:You know, I'm in control of it.
Speaker A:Interesting.
Speaker B:Because people believe that acting involves embodying someone who's completely different to you.
Speaker B:You're taking our.
Speaker B:You embody, adopt an entire new Persona, personality.
Speaker B:And there is that.
Speaker B:That is one way.
Speaker B:But the other way is you just draw on your own innate.
Speaker B:The reason creative people often go into acting is because creative people struggle to identify who they truly are.
Speaker B:They don't.
Speaker B:It's not as easy for them to work out their.
Speaker B:At least in my opinion, at least they have more fluid identities, they have more fluid perceptions of themselves.
Speaker B:Maybe they're a bit more inconsistent with who they are or something.
Speaker B:I mean, you could say that anyone's like, that.
Speaker B:But I found that with.
Speaker B:With certain people.
Speaker B:But they're so therefore, as a result, they have more prongs or they have more aspects to their psyche, their identity, their spirit maybe.
Speaker B:And they can draw on different things to channel into a character.
Speaker B:But it's still obviously.
Speaker B:But people sort of, I think acting take that when you're acting, you channel some completely different.
Speaker B:And it's like you go this.
Speaker B:And now I'm going to be this character.
Speaker B:And that is probably the right way to do it.
Speaker B:I think that's.
Speaker B:What is that.
Speaker B:That's not method, is it?
Speaker B:It's more.
Speaker A:Does not make sense based on the person.
Speaker A:Brecht is kind of.
Speaker A:That's like kind of break the third wall and fourth wall.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:And be like, I'm not.
Speaker A:I am.
Speaker A:I mean, I'm out.
Speaker A:I mean, I'm out.
Speaker A:With Stan, it's like you would embody the person.
Speaker A:I think it was Robert Carlisle.
Speaker A:He embodied the character and left his whole family for the whole time he was shooting because he was such an aggressive character.
Speaker A:And he'd embodied your character so much, he couldn't.
Speaker A:He just couldn't flick out of it quick enough.
Speaker A:So he was like, right, I'm just going to go over here, do this thing, do this amazing performance and then re center himself.
Speaker A:We gripe, you know, who am I?
Speaker A:What am I?
Speaker A:Who's.
Speaker A:He was Robert, you know, not the character.
Speaker A:And then he was back to his own life.
Speaker A:And that's why again, I mean, actors and actors are brilliant, brilliant people for the fact that they can do that, whereas most of us just act and don't realize we're doing it because we're just trying to survive.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker B:Every man is Burn Acton, who plays multiple roles.
Speaker B:But the point I was trying to make is that the amount of like actors and actresses that have on screen relationships that go on to have off screen relationships, it's because there's less of a distance between the actor and the character than people think there is often.
Speaker B:And therefore that romance that they build on screen extrapolates out to off screen because it's far more.
Speaker B:I mean, there's obviously other reasons, but they're far more aligned with who they truly are than what people think.
Speaker B:Do you understand what I mean?
Speaker B:In a weird way, that's what that's.
Speaker B:That's so the point I'm making.
Speaker B:That's a whole new topic.
Speaker B:Yeah, let's talk about crystals.
Speaker B:Tell me about crystals.
Speaker B:What crystal would you give me?
Speaker B:Because that is something that I have Heard before.
Speaker B:Apparently there's a crystal shop in Brighton and someone said, what you got to do is you got to go in there, don't even pay anything attention, but just go over to, like, the stacks of, like, the pick and mix crystals, and you go to the one that you're drawn to most, and that tells you what you need in your life or something.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Crystals go, that's.
Speaker A:That's great.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:That is a great way of saying it.
Speaker A:And it's a truth, I think.
Speaker A:Crystals.
Speaker A:In order to understand crystals, we have to understand the energy system, which we've, you know, beautifully talked about in this session.
Speaker A:So people will have an understanding of their energy system.
Speaker A:The idea of holding a crystal, picking it up, holding it and going, oh, fingers crossed.
Speaker A:You know, like they said, it's going to do this job.
Speaker A:Because that's what it says that for every crystal that you have is formed under seven crystal structures.
Speaker A:So I'm qualified with the Gemological Institute of America as an accredited jewelry professional.
Speaker A:Spent 20 years selling gemstones and crystals on TV on one of the shopping channels.
Speaker A:So I did a lot of work with gemstones, understanding them, how they're formed.
Speaker A:Quartz is a great one because when the earth has an earthquake, quartz, silica, and oxygen steals and heals the earth.
Speaker A:You know, it's a beautiful crystal.
Speaker A:It's known as the master healer for that reason.
Speaker A:So they have to be formed in a crystal structure in order to be called a crystal.
Speaker A:So you can have a rock or you can have a beautiful pebble that can have a lovely meaning to.
Speaker A:It can have a nice energy about it because it's energy and vibration, but it doesn't have a metaphysical meaning.
Speaker A:And what a metaphysical meaning means is that that crystal stands to something.
Speaker A:Now, I didn't wake up one morning and create it, you know, crystal healer.
Speaker A:Didn't you looked at the breastplate of Aaron?
Speaker A:There was red Jaffa.
Speaker A:Red Jaffa is great for root chakra, which is safety, strength, security.
Speaker A:The Romans have tiger's eye, which is great for self esteem, self confidence, self power.
Speaker A:So they had a lot of that on them.
Speaker A:Lapis lazuli was crushed down and used as makeup.
Speaker A:And it was painted in the Sistine Chapel.
Speaker A:That was lapisagilize, a crystal used for paint.
Speaker A:So it's also very good for grief.
Speaker A:So we have a lot of crystals for a lot of meanings.
Speaker A:Some can have dual meanings.
Speaker A:Some can have meanings when they're placed with each other.
Speaker A:And often we look at what do we need.
Speaker A:Like I said before, if this starts with self love, it has to begin with you.
Speaker A:You're in a world but for you, you've said a couple of things today on our chat about I'm going to get better at this and I'm thinking I might, I'll string this back.
Speaker A:Your focus and your concentration is so much comes in for you.
Speaker A:There's so much coming down that to Charlie, I'd give you a fluorite because fluorite is really good for focus and concentration, but it's also really good for letting things go.
Speaker A:So if you, instead of chastising, you go, okay, I've learned that and I've learned that.
Speaker A:I think I'll do it like this way.
Speaker A:And here's my focus.
Speaker B:God, that would be so beneficial from this right now.
Speaker B:What's it called?
Speaker B:Fluorite.
Speaker A:Yeah, fluorite.
Speaker A:And it's really good for that reason because, you know, it's very good to have by your computer screen.
Speaker A:By all accounts, that's where you sit a lot.
Speaker A:You do a lot good for reading, digesting.
Speaker A:You don't come across as a particularly anxious person.
Speaker A:You come across as quite calm, quite seated in who you are.
Speaker A:But you're also somebody that's keen to learn and keen to move and keen to have that knowledge.
Speaker A:You're like a knowledge keeper.
Speaker A:You know, you draw it, you like it, you're interested, interested in it, you challenge it, you stick with it, you form your own opinion on it and things like that.
Speaker A:Fluoride helps because you've gotten all this information how to channel it to what's your why with that information, what you're going to do with it.
Speaker A:You're putting it out in a podcast, you're now hitting other people, they're benefiting from it.
Speaker A:So it all has that knock on effect.
Speaker A:So yeah, that's.
Speaker A:So that's crystals.
Speaker A:And going into a shop is great to choose one you like.
Speaker A:Always make sure you cleanse them.
Speaker A:There's lots of people that go into a shop or I've got bracelets on, so let me try a bracelet on then.
Speaker A:And I'm like, no, because as soon as you put it on your energy, this crystal is going to get to absorb from you what you no longer need.
Speaker A:And then I'm going to put on my palm and all my hand and I'm going to absorb your energy.
Speaker A:So we tend to try and wash them underwater, smudge, spray them, cleanse them, you know, so be mindful about your energy.
Speaker A:Think about it a bit more like you'd have a Wash how many times people come in from work, have a shower, wash the day off, or I'm just gonna go for a quick walk around the block, blow the cobwebs away.
Speaker A:This is all spiritual stuff.
Speaker A:We just don't call it spiritual.
Speaker A:We just call it looking after.
Speaker A:How many people take their shoes off and ground themselves?
Speaker A:Heard on the radio today that now in the office places, they're encouraging people to take their shoes off.
Speaker A:Did you hear that?
Speaker A:I mean, for me, that's grounding.
Speaker A:The more grounded you are, the less footwear we're wearing, the more connected we are, the more we're connected to each other.
Speaker A:So it comes more.
Speaker A:But then they were complaining that people sleep might smell.
Speaker A:And I thought, well, I don't work in an office, so, you know, doesn't bother you?
Speaker B:Yeah, it doesn't.
Speaker B:It doesn't impact you?
Speaker B:Yeah, no.
Speaker B:I used to love walking around without any shoes on when I was younger.
Speaker B:I actually forgot about that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Rounding in.
Speaker A:You just love to feel ground.
Speaker B:Yes, exactly.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:What I love is that everyone, like when we were talking about our energy and how we've all got this energy, we're all controlling of it, there are so many people listening that will go, well, what do I do?
Speaker A:It's all good and well.
Speaker A:Lynne telling me to live true, authentic self.
Speaker A:It's all good and well.
Speaker A:Same in charge of high energy, but I've got this toxic relationship or I've got a toxic job, or I'm not happy.
Speaker A:So what's some takeaways for people like, what can you do?
Speaker A:And I'd say just go back to those values and if you're not living in alignment with it, that's when I changed my complete job.
Speaker A:So I gave her back my golden handcuffs.
Speaker A:I don't want to work on telly anymore.
Speaker A:I don't align with this management.
Speaker A:I don't align with this job.
Speaker A:I don't align.
Speaker A:And it was frightening and it was fearful.
Speaker A:And I don't want anyone to think for one minute that I haven't gone through trauma and death and situations in my life that have been really complex and a huge IVF journey that I went on and sent many little souls back.
Speaker A:But I navigated that by going back to gratitude, by controlling what I can control.
Speaker A:What are my controllables, what is in my circle?
Speaker A:Who do I get rid of?
Speaker A:That doesn't make me feel good anymore.
Speaker A:Where are my boundaries?
Speaker A:And I think for a lot of people, listening is start small.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be that.
Speaker A:You have to make this massive break or shift.
Speaker A:It's just find one thing and do that one thing for a little bit.
Speaker A:Ground yourself or journal or meditate, go and get some crystals.
Speaker A:Just even think about your own energies.
Speaker A:Just give it a thought.
Speaker A:And that for people is if they are at breaking point and something's coming for them, it's nice to have some tools in that tool bag that aren't medical tool, you know, they're more tools and just have them in their pocket really and go, hang on.
Speaker A:Lynn mentioned something might help.
Speaker A:What's the worst that can happen?
Speaker A:It can make me, make me feel better, you know, I can do something different.
Speaker A:So I just, yeah, I don't want anyone to go away thinking it's like it's easy because any healing is hard, any things difficult, but actually it's enjoying the journey and taking the lesson from it and experiencing it.
Speaker A:And the greatest gift I, I can say is that I loved my mum so very much and how wonderful it was that I had that gift to love her and be loved.
Speaker A:And I'll choose that then.
Speaker A:So, yes, I'll grieve, of course I'll grieve, but I have choices in how I do it.
Speaker A:As we do with everything, complex situations, traumas, it's coming and there's more and there's more and there's more.
Speaker A:So, yeah, just.
Speaker A:That really is just.
Speaker A:If you are at that breaking point, you're never really alone because we are all connected and find something that feels good to step into.
Speaker B:Yeah, you sort of.
Speaker B:You may have just alluded to it, but I think I'll ask you the final question of the episode before we draw up.
Speaker B:What was your breaking point?
Speaker B:That's the shortest length of time I've ever asked that.
Speaker A:Yeah, I went to.
Speaker A:I was working on TV and I was going through a huge, you know, just a trigger announcement.
Speaker A:Funny, you know, women and men are watching but are lifting it.
Speaker A:I had a really big fertility journey, so it was about eight years worth of a fertility journey.
Speaker A: We got married: Speaker A:Because that's what you do, isn't it?
Speaker A:You get, you know, that's our plan, our journey.
Speaker A: And in: Speaker A: Hold of: Speaker A:Obviously, as a woman, you told many, many times in your life, you know, use precaution, be careful.
Speaker A:You know, in the time when you're not.
Speaker A:You're thinking, I'm going, shouldn't it.
Speaker A:Shouldn't it be happening?
Speaker A:Because I'm like four months in, spent a year, two years just trying.
Speaker A:And that was difficult because when you want something so badly, three months, 28 or 31 days long gets long.
Speaker A:And eventually we.
Speaker A:A bigger journey.
Speaker A:Yeah, every day.
Speaker A:And especially when, you know that time comes when you realize you're not.
Speaker A:And then you got to do another month, and it becomes a little bit mechanical.
Speaker A:So we got some support from the hospital, but you start with just come on in and we'll do some scanning.
Speaker A:And so the internal things start, and you're like, oh, different.
Speaker A:But you know what I want.
Speaker A:So I'm happy to prepare to be, you know, go through these journeys, and I'll let people do things and get you in, take blood, and you start and embark on that.
Speaker A:And we carried on going, and then nothing was happening.
Speaker A:And then we had our first loss.
Speaker A:And that was quite tough because we didn't.
Speaker A:When we fell, we were like, oh, well, this is it.
Speaker A:Obviously, this is it.
Speaker A:And what we're taught is, don't tell anybody you're pregnant till you're 12 weeks, because that's what you do.
Speaker A:And I've come to believe that.
Speaker A:I'm a big advocate of not.
Speaker A:Because if you lose a soul, then, my gosh, you're going to need support.
Speaker A:You don't.
Speaker A:You can't then say, I was and now I'm not, because that's such a tricky conversation.
Speaker A:So it's stuff I learned along the way.
Speaker A:And then we went back and carried on going through tests.
Speaker A:My tests, husband tests, more tests, more tests.
Speaker A:Nothing was really flagging.
Speaker A:Then I had a chemical pregnancy, which is when your mind tells you that you're pregnant, so much so that your body believes that it is, but you're not a phantom or a character.
Speaker A:Pregnancy is it known?
Speaker A:And that's how desperate I was.
Speaker A:And that's when I first realized how powerful my mind was, because I was convincing myself so much that I wanted something so much.
Speaker A:Like when we talk about the power of your mind healing you.
Speaker A:I am, I am, I am.
Speaker A:So that was.
Speaker A:That was interesting.
Speaker A:And then we started our IVF journey.
Speaker A:And anybody that's been through IVF will understand that it is a complex journey.
Speaker A:So the different protocols, you go on, a lot of internal scanning, lots of injections of drugs.
Speaker A:Now, at this point, I was working on tv.
Speaker A:They call for a break, and I'd inject myself on it, like on a break, because you have to do it at certain times.
Speaker A:You have to do certain things at certain times.
Speaker A:It's not an easy journey to do.
Speaker A:And then they kind of neutralize you on your hormones.
Speaker A:They're a bit imbalanced.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:When you say you've got no filter, like, they just take away that kindness filter.
Speaker A:And you'd just be a bit.
Speaker A:It's a short.
Speaker A:So it.
Speaker A:Because you can't buy.
Speaker A:You're imbalanced.
Speaker A:You know, you're hormonally imbalanced because of the injections and the drugs you're on.
Speaker A:And I was on air doing all of this, going through that time.
Speaker A:And I think for me, navigating ivf, we had in total eight souls that we sent home that came to visit and stayed with me a little while, chose not to land here and go back.
Speaker A:And I'm grateful I held space to them.
Speaker A:And then we got to the point where we'd had so many miscarriages and so many things had gone wrong.
Speaker A:I'd created a new womb.
Speaker A:You know, they'd built me a new womb.
Speaker A:Cause I have something called the bicornic womb, Ollie, which means it's like a little heart.
Speaker A:So they created me a full heart.
Speaker A:And then they said, look, this is not your journey.
Speaker A:And then I come back to purpose.
Speaker A:What was my purpose then?
Speaker A:If it's not to be a mum, what's my purpose?
Speaker A:And we realized that actually your purpose is never to be a mom or a dad.
Speaker A:It's not.
Speaker A:Your purpose is something completely different.
Speaker A:That's just a journey that you have.
Speaker A:And then we were told that this is kind of the end of the line.
Speaker A:And I remember being on air once, doing what we call, like a presentation.
Speaker A:And I started to lose.
Speaker A:But I couldn't tell anyone.
Speaker A:It was just.
Speaker A:I was losing this, you know, baby, just blood everywhere.
Speaker A:And the guys couldn't see it.
Speaker A:Group of cameramen, group of camera guys in the gallery.
Speaker A:And they just kept saying in my ear, keep going, then, keep going, keep going.
Speaker A:And I just.
Speaker A:I had no way of not keep going.
Speaker A:And I think that was my point of going, I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker A:This is not.
Speaker A:This is not for me.
Speaker A:Whatever this is, it's not for me.
Speaker A:And then we came up, came to kind of the appreciation.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:It was very traumatic.
Speaker A:Like, obviously.
Speaker A:But anybody who's been through it, like we said before, little tea, big tea, it's trauma.
Speaker A:And they were great.
Speaker A:Obviously, everyone's great, but you're mortified and embarrassed.
Speaker A:Anyway, we did end up having, without any support or any help at all, a little girl.
Speaker A:And she came a month after we decided that was it, we would stop.
Speaker A:And that little girl soul stayed and she stayed, and she's now 8.
Speaker A:So you often hear these stories of when you stop, when you're at breaking point, it will happen.
Speaker A:What really upsets me, and it just bothered me quite a bit, is that you shouldn't have to get breaking point before your body lets you do the thing or not do the thing.
Speaker A:But we all have a breaking point, and that was probably one of mine.
Speaker A:But I think in life we have quite a few breaking points.
Speaker A:And then we go back to them and go, okay, I'm going to hold me in that space and I'm going to hold on to you and say, that shouldn't have happened.
Speaker A:And that was not okay, but you're okay now.
Speaker A:And we can move forward.
Speaker A:And maybe by telling our story and sharing our journey, we'll help other men and women.
Speaker A:And it's definitely men as well, because it's hard, you know, if it's same sex as well.
Speaker A:That's tricky because, you know, there's one person doing it, there's one holding.
Speaker A:And I think that space, sharing that time was a massive breaking point for me.
Speaker A:And I was like, I don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker A:This isn't who I am.
Speaker A:I'm not aligned.
Speaker A:My purpose is.
Speaker A:My values.
Speaker A:And everything shifted.
Speaker A:I'm now grateful that I have that journey and that I've got that experience.
Speaker A:But I have to say, during that time, I did a lot of learning, a lot of learning about Lynn, a lot of learning about me, my positivity, how I used to kept getting up and doing it again, like a Hobnob biscuit.
Speaker A:I'm off again, you know, let's go again.
Speaker A:And you just get on this, like, obsessive line.
Speaker A:And it was like, I remember going for counseling and the counselor, I ended up counseling her.
Speaker A:Not it's meant to be, but it was because I would just have this mindset of, well, whatever this journey is, I'm in it, I'm on it.
Speaker A:I'm on the train, I'm on the ride.
Speaker A:And I had a really supportive husband who was great, you know, as well, with the journey and where, you know, still together.
Speaker A:And I think that's a testament to anyone, again, who's been through these journeys.
Speaker A:And it's a really tough, tough subject to talk about, but I'm glad I have the voice to say it.
