How I TURNED My Life Around (Addiction, Sobriety & College Confessions)
This podcast episode features an enlightening discussion with Jack Sorensen, a health and fitness coach, who elucidates the pivotal moments that shaped his journey into the realm of fitness. At the forefront of our conversation, Jack recounts his tumultuous college experience, which was marked by significant weight gain and a profound struggle with self-identity amidst the pressures of academic and social life. He reflects on the transformative power of personal adversity, detailing how a period of introspection and self-discipline allowed him to reclaim his health and redefine his purpose. As Jack shares his experiences, he emphasizes the importance of self-reliance and the necessity of confronting one's vulnerabilities in order to foster genuine growth. This episode not only serves as an exploration of Jack's narrative but also offers valuable insights into the broader implications of health and well-being in the context of personal development.
Takeaways:
- Jack Sorensen's journey into fitness began as a consequence of a significant personal transformation during his college years.
- He experienced substantial weight gain during his freshman and sophomore years, largely due to a lack of structure and unhealthy eating habits.
- Jack's realization of his reliance on external validation prompted a deep self-reflection, leading him to prioritize his health and fitness.
- The pivotal year of the pandemic provided Jack with an opportunity for self-growth, allowing him to focus solely on his fitness journey.
- During his college years, Jack discovered the importance of self-reliance and began to redefine his identity beyond sports.
- Jack emphasizes that overcoming personal lows can lead to profound personal growth and a renewed sense of purpose.
Transcript
Hello, everyone.
Speaker A:Welcome back to another episode of the Breaking Point podcast.
Speaker A:Today we are here with Jack Sorensen.
Speaker A:Jack is a health coach, fitness coach all round healthy guy.
Speaker A:Jack, tell everyone why you got into fitness.
Speaker A:Start off at the beginning.
Speaker B:Oh, why start from the beginning, man?
Speaker B:How.
Speaker B:How early we want to go, dude.
Speaker A:Let's go as early as you want to.
Speaker B:All right, dude, let's run it.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So I was an athlete growing up.
Speaker A:Nice.
Speaker B:So I played hockey, soccer, baseball, or you call it football, but as it should be, literally football, it's.
Speaker B:We play with our feet.
Speaker B:So I don't know what the Americans are doing.
Speaker A:Any American people listening?
Speaker A:It is football.
Speaker A:Just want to put it out there.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:It is football, dude.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I'll even be that way.
Speaker B:But yeah, so basically, big, big F.
Speaker B:Like I just played sports.
Speaker B:That's just what I grew, grew up in.
Speaker B:That's how I rolled.
Speaker B:And so like pretty much all played all three, all the way through high school.
Speaker B:And then I ended up playing college baseball for a bit.
Speaker B:And funny enough, so I quit college, my college baseball team, because it was just miserable.
Speaker B:I'll get into why in a second.
Speaker B:But then I actually picked up rugby.
Speaker B:So I'm a big.
Speaker B:I was a big rugby player in college.
Speaker B:Love the sport, dude.
Speaker B:Like one of my favorite, probably the favorite sport I've ever played.
Speaker B:It was just so much fun.
Speaker B:And the connection you had with the team was just different and all that stuff.
Speaker B:Just truly awesome.
Speaker B:But, yeah, so grew up playing sports 24 7, like every single season.
Speaker B:I was basically playing at least two sports.
Speaker B:Like I would be in season with one sport and then be training for the one that's coming up.
Speaker B:Like in.
Speaker B:It was just nuts.
Speaker B:Just non, stop, non stop, non stop.
Speaker B:And so I just kind of knew movement, a new activity.
Speaker B:It's what I was just kind of bred into, essentially.
Speaker B:That's what my dad basically put on me.
Speaker B:That's just what he knew.
Speaker B:So that's what he put on me.
Speaker B:And that's all I did.
Speaker B:And then here comes college.
Speaker B:I played college baseball and I'm no longer under supervision, as you understand.
Speaker B:Probably with college and everything, it's just the shit can go sideways.
Speaker B:We all know that's what happens.
Speaker B:You guys could probably expect what happened with me going to college, not being under supervision and all that jazz, but basically fresh.
Speaker B:I went to an engineering school, so I studied mechanical engineering in college.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And it was very, very, just like rigorous.
Speaker B:The schedule was just nuts.
Speaker B:And the school I went to specifically had a very fast paced, like, Schooling system because the goal was to basically get people to have, get their masters if they wanted to move at a certain rate, get their masters in four years.
Speaker B:So it was very, very fast paced which made it very difficult to play sports and honestly just take care of yourself at all.
Speaker B:Especially from someone that really never had any structure other than being told by my parents or school was very difficult to be like self reliant and all that stuff.
Speaker B:So baseball I of course chose.
Speaker B:Of all the three sports I could have chosen to go to college for, I chose the least active one.
Speaker B:So which didn't help me.
Speaker A:That's what you mean.
Speaker B:Yeah, baseball don't move much, not much cardio involved.
Speaker B:So I just started putting on weight.
Speaker B:So I, the classic freshman 15 sure started putting on weight, drinking a lot, getting just not eating well whatsoever.
Speaker B:So that was one thing too is my mom was a chef and she cooked very, very good.
Speaker B:Not necessarily the healthiest always but like she cooked very good and I didn't really know what was good food, what was bad food, how I should be eating, macronutrients wise and everything.
Speaker B:So just started eating pizza 24 7, not eating well, drinking a lot.
Speaker B:And so I gained like 15 pounds freshman year.
Speaker B:But then I quit.
Speaker B:So I just, I really didn't like the sport.
Speaker B:I didn't like how the coach did things and I just didn't enjoy it.
Speaker B:I went from being basically a starter across the board for all of my sports to like not even really given a chance freshman year.
Speaker B:And I just was pissed and my ego was in the dirt essentially.
Speaker B:You know, this version of me was completely different to who I am now.
Speaker B:And I was just like what the hell, screw him dude.
Speaker B:Like why the hell am I not getting a chance?
Speaker B:Like I'm better than this person, whatever, just not, not a good version of me, but that's okay.
Speaker B:And yeah, I just dropped, I was like screw this, I'm going to go do something else.
Speaker B:So naturally I joined a fraternity after that.
Speaker B:It's such a great idea, such a great idea.
Speaker B:And they brought up, I got taken in by the fraternity that actually was the rugby guys and the wrestling guys.
Speaker B:So started playing rugby.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But the issue is, is like so freshman 15.
Speaker B:How about the sophomore 16?
Speaker A:Freshman 15.
Speaker B:What does that mean?
Speaker B:So freshman 15 pounds.
Speaker B:So it's like people put on weight when they go to college.
Speaker B:So the freshman 15 and then I call it the sophomore 60.
Speaker B:So like I basically joined college.
Speaker B:Yeah, like it was bad.
Speaker B:So like I, I, I entered college around 140 pounds.
Speaker B:I'm 5 9, so I'm not the tallest guy ever.
Speaker B:140 was roughly around 150 by start of sophomore year.
Speaker B:End of sophomore year, I was around 210.
Speaker B:Insane.
Speaker B:Just eating everything in sight.
Speaker A:That's a lot.
Speaker B:Literally became an alcoholic, you know.
Speaker B:It's a lot, dude.
Speaker B:I mean, understanding physiologically and everything.
Speaker B:It's like you need to be.
Speaker B:One pound of fat is equated roughly 3,500 calories, right?
Speaker B:So it's like how much more of a surplus did I need to be in every single day to put on 60 pounds in one single year?
Speaker B:Pretty ridiculous, right?
Speaker B:How much did I have to be drinking?
Speaker B:How much did I eat?
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's mind blowing to me being a coach now full time.
Speaker B:Like how I don't even fully remember, you know, it's just like that version of you kind of goes away, but it's just nuts.
Speaker B:So I put on a lot of.
Speaker B:A lot of weight.
Speaker B:And it kind of just revealed a lot of insecurities, a lot of reliance on external validation.
Speaker B:Meeting other people constantly to feel good.
Speaker B:Just because that's what I was brought up on.
Speaker B:Just like the parents that kind of.
Speaker B:They did a great job, but like, it.
Speaker B:I was so like reliant on their approval for everything.
Speaker B:Same with my teachers, same with my coaches.
Speaker B:It's like, that's kind of what it was.
Speaker B:So when I no longer had that, it just kind of created this really toxic individual where I just was constantly needing other people getting into bad things and then just kind of vices became food.
Speaker B:Could not stop eating, could not stop snacking and then drinking.
Speaker B:So a lot.
Speaker B:Basically found every excuse under the sun to drink every day.
Speaker B:Pretty much just a nickname for every day.
Speaker B:Um, and it was not ideal, man.
Speaker B:So that version of me was just crazy.
Speaker B:Totally different.
Speaker B:Not a good individual.
Speaker B:Um, and I, I own up to that.
Speaker B:I'm, you know, I.
Speaker B:I know I wasn't.
Speaker B:And that's okay.
Speaker B:You gotta go through these really big lows.
Speaker B:In my opinion, a lot of people need to go through a really big low to then become the person they've always meant to be.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And that's just what happened with me.
Speaker B:I was in a very low period.
Speaker B:Very depressed, very upset, very reliant on other people.
Speaker B:And then I started losing weight, but I didn't really like.
Speaker B:I just started working out, kind of bro split.
Speaker B:Oh, dude there.
Speaker B:Everybody's going to the gym, so let's do it.
Speaker B:Total.
Speaker B:Just bullshit.
Speaker B:Going in a couple times a week, free balling it.
Speaker B:No plan in place.
Speaker B:I'm dirty, bulking, eating everything in sight.
Speaker B:You know, just finding every excuse to eat whatever.
Speaker B:And so then junior year came and I started losing weight just because I was just kind of becoming obsessed with working hard.
Speaker B:I was getting that sense.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's up?
Speaker A:No, I was just gonna.
Speaker A:So I just wanna.
Speaker A:Before we go on, I just wanna establish sort of a few things.
Speaker A:So you said that you.
Speaker B:Yeah, sorry, we've been talking.
Speaker A:No, sorry.
Speaker A:It's good.
Speaker A:No, it's fine.
Speaker A:I'm.
Speaker A:I'm really interested.
Speaker A:I should talk about like, the American unique or college experience.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because you, You.
Speaker A:So you said you dropped out and then you said you joined a fraternity and now you say you got into.
Speaker B:Joining out of the sport.
Speaker B:You dropped out, drops out of sport, not the school.
Speaker B:Apologies.
Speaker B:I quit the sport.
Speaker B:So I'm still at school.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm still in school.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Sorry for the.
Speaker B:Sorry for the.
Speaker B:No, no.
Speaker A:Picked up on that.
Speaker B:No, you're.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm about to get into.
Speaker B:Why we got into the fitness game.
Speaker B:Almost there, dude, I promise.
Speaker B:But yeah, basically I started getting.
Speaker B:I just started working out, but kind of bullshit.
Speaker B:And then I've had very toxic relationships with females growing up just once again, that whole, like, external validation becoming very reliant.
Speaker B:So dated a girl for four years, got cheated on millions of, like, I could count both hands how many times that individual cheated on me.
Speaker B:And then junior year comes along, another version of that comes, um, and just ripped me apart.
Speaker B:And I'm feeling like I'm finally getting momentum.
Speaker B:And then finally just.
Speaker B:That just kind of put me over the edge.
Speaker B:So classic, like, just.
Speaker B:I have nowhere to go.
Speaker B:I don't know who I am.
Speaker B:I need to work on myself.
Speaker B:And I realized I had a problem with alcohol.
Speaker B:Just kind of all of it.
Speaker B:I just got really, really.
Speaker B:I just looked myself in the mirror.
Speaker B:I'm like, dude, what have I become?
Speaker B:I grew up an athlete.
Speaker B:I grew up having all my shit together, seeming like I was just this really just like, got his everything together, individual whatever.
Speaker B:So I started really taking my health seriously.
Speaker B:So I went from 2, 10, and then junior.
Speaker B:End of junior year was of course the.
Speaker B:The.
Speaker B:The C word.
Speaker B:I don't know if you want to have that in the podcast, but you know what?
Speaker B:It is that year that the whole world shut down.
Speaker B:But basically people, some people took that year as it went.
Speaker B:It put them in the dirt versus for me.
Speaker B:It gave me my opportunity.
Speaker B:Like, literally, I had no excuse but just to focus on myself because that's all I had.
Speaker B:Me, myself and I.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So I got obsessed.
Speaker B:Literally just started losing weight as best as I, you know, just working super hard.
Speaker B:That's all I knew how to do.
Speaker B:So I would just like do two a days, sprints, all this stuff and almost like trying to outwork a bad diet.
Speaker B:Learning, learning, learning, learning.
Speaker B:And then basically starting the junior year, so third year of school, by the time in senior year, I've, I've already lost all the weight.
Speaker B:So it's basically a year, year to year and a half.
Speaker B:I lost all the weight that I put on in a single year.
Speaker B:So just pretty.
Speaker B:Yo, yo.
Speaker B:Yeah, like to the point where some people don't even remember me putting on weight.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So that's just kind of it.
Speaker B:Like people like, I literally have family members who didn't see me at that point in time.
Speaker B:Like, when were you overweight?
Speaker B:I'm like, oh man, I went through this crazy roller coaster in school and it's just nuts.
Speaker B:So it formed me who I am today, truly.
Speaker B:Like, if I didn't have that, that year of just like me, me, me, me, where it's like all I had was just wake up, grinding, reflect, like, try to be a better individual, like self growth, like just being really obsessed with it.
Speaker B:I, I, I don't know where I'd be truly, if I didn't have that year.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, so like, why am I into working out?
Speaker B:It really was.
Speaker A:Well, let, let's that year before.
Speaker A:I want to go.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:Sorry to keep it dropped to you, but I wanna, I wanna go more.
Speaker B:Dude, no.
Speaker B:This is your podcast, dude.
Speaker B:Let it rip, baby.
Speaker A:No, it's not my podcast.
Speaker A:It's the guests podcast.
Speaker A:I just host it.
Speaker A:So I wanna, I wanna explore what, what it was like, what so what was it like being in a fraternity?
Speaker B:Baby, we're going to college life.
Speaker B:Being in a fraternity is.
Speaker B:How old am I?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:26.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Well, yes, I was gonna say.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:I didn't think because you, you were.
Speaker A:How does it work?
Speaker A:I'm all over.
Speaker B:I could be in a different spectrum.
Speaker B:It's like, yo, this guy could be like mid-30s if he needed to be, or he could be like a baby.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker A:Yeah, you have a very sort of mutable age.
Speaker A:Like I couldn't quite work out how old you are, but 26 makes sense actually.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm 26.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:In college you have freshman, sophomore, junior, senior.
Speaker B:Was that in senior year?
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:No, that's, that's the same, same thing.
Speaker A:It's the same in high school.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Okay, cool.
Speaker A:So freshman year, you.
Speaker A:You put freshman.
Speaker A:Freshman 15.
Speaker A:As you said, you put on freshman 15.
Speaker B:Yep, exactly.
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:And we will get into the sort of the sense of withdrawal from your regular life that you had before you went off to college.
Speaker A:And then you, you suddenly enter this new realm of existence that.
Speaker A:So how does it work in, in American unis, do you.
Speaker A:Are there like supermarkets?
Speaker A:I don't know what you call them, what you call supermarkets.
Speaker A:Grocery stores on site, Grocery stores, supermarket.
Speaker B:Not necessarily.
Speaker B:I mean, it depends where you live.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, so it depends where you live.
Speaker B:So as a freshman I meet.
Speaker B:I relied on the.
Speaker B:The cafeteria for food from school, which most of the time isn't the best food ever.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I mean, think about it.
Speaker B:Just like they gotta make a ton of food in bulk.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So how do they do that?
Speaker B:It's usually very.
Speaker B:It's not the most gross things for you.
Speaker B:I wouldn't say the caf was necessarily bad.
Speaker B:If I knew what I knew now could I go back and like, probably eat pretty good?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But like for someone that has no idea what the hell they even give themselves because you just been reliant on parents, it's like, oh, what's been tasty my entire life?
Speaker B:Oh, pizza sandwiches, subs, you know, all that stuff.
Speaker B:Oat chips.
Speaker B:They have corn dogs today.
Speaker B:Do this sounds great.
Speaker A:Corn dogs are not tasty.
Speaker B:That's kind of what it was.
Speaker A:Where you get that from?
Speaker B:Dude, I grew up loving them, so just it.
Speaker B:I agree though.
Speaker B:They're not looking back.
Speaker B:I'm like, they're not that great.
Speaker A:No, it's fair enough.
Speaker A:But yeah, okay, so.
Speaker A:And then you joined the fraternity, which I imagine brought itself.
Speaker B:Then we joined the.
Speaker A:Probably sort of exaggerated what was a growing problem to some degree.
Speaker A:I mean, I.
Speaker A:I don't know whether.
Speaker B:It kind of was fed into the.
Speaker B:It was fed into what I was becoming essentially.
Speaker B:It's like before, it's like I was kind of like self, self kind of just getting into alcohol and eating a lot of copious amount of food.
Speaker B:But then like when it becomes extremely convenient to do it, it's like you just kind of.
Speaker B:I just leaned into it, you know, without even trying.
Speaker B:You know, it's just because it was right there all the time.
Speaker B:I'm around it all the time.
Speaker B:And it's like, it's true.
Speaker B:Like your environment truly is everything.
Speaker B:You know, if you're around all that, that you're going to be that.
Speaker B:That's just it, you know?
Speaker A:And you have to be big, to play rugby, don't you?
Speaker A:So I can imagine that you will.
Speaker B:All eat that way.
Speaker B:Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker B:I didn't think of it that way.
Speaker B:You know, I was just.
Speaker B:I just played because I wanted to move.
Speaker B:Thing, move.
Speaker B:It wasn't.
Speaker B:I wasn't getting big for rugby.
Speaker B:I just wanted to play a sport.
Speaker B:And, you know, once again, it's like your environment.
Speaker B:Like, everyone was doing it and I'm like, oh, I was an athlete.
Speaker B:Let's.
Speaker B:Let's move my body.
Speaker B:And I picked it up fast and it was great.
Speaker B:It was super fun.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:But, yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker B:I didn't get big for that.
Speaker A:No, no, no, you were.
Speaker A:You had other more important things to.
Speaker A:To focus on, I guess.
Speaker B:So, yeah, you could do that.
Speaker A:Maybe not more important, but they.
Speaker A:They felt more important at the time.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Okay, so now we're into junior year.
Speaker A:So when did you have.
Speaker A:This is usually the final question, but we'll do it now.
Speaker A:When did you have your moment where you thought you needed to stop sort of going down the path that you were on?
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:There was just like, man, it's tough.
Speaker B:It wasn't.
Speaker B:It was so.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:So in junior year, I, like, studied abroad for a bit, actually, and I got extremely, extremely homesick.
Speaker B:And once again, just kind of learning of, like, how I just was so reliant on other people because I just could not function properly.
Speaker B:So I ended up going to the gym.
Speaker B:That's like, when I started my health journey, more or less, like, when I started losing the way.
Speaker B:And I started realizing just, like, some toxic behaviors.
Speaker B:Then I'm like, why?
Speaker B:I literally, like, I felt like I was like, I had so much anxiety.
Speaker B:So much.
Speaker B:I mean, I started that girl that ripped my heart out that year, like, she was back at home and I was freaking out, like, couldn't sleep ever.
Speaker B:It was just not good.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:I was real.
Speaker B:I was seeing it.
Speaker B:I'm like, what is going on?
Speaker B:What.
Speaker B:What is happening to me?
Speaker B:Like, why can't I go, like, a couple months away from my home and.
Speaker B:And, like, be present?
Speaker B:Because I couldn't be present.
Speaker B:And I was in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
Speaker B:I was in Cape Town, South Africa.
Speaker B:It was unbelievable.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:I look back and I think, wow, I saw amazing things.
Speaker B:But, like, I.
Speaker B:I know my experience wasn't that great because my mind was in the wrong place the entire time.
Speaker B:So that was part of it.
Speaker B:And then when that breakup eventually happened with that girl, I don't know if I'VE never had such, like, I'm not a suicidal individual.
Speaker B:I mean, that subject is very difficult to talk about, obviously, but, like, I've never felt that before.
Speaker B:And I finally did.
Speaker B:I finally had a situation, like, what's the point?
Speaker B:And a lot of just, like, self reflection, like, where.
Speaker B:What have I become?
Speaker B:Who is this individual?
Speaker B:I don't even know who I am.
Speaker B:I don't have a purpose.
Speaker B:I don't have something that I'm, like, passionate about or like, I basically went my entire life pretty much, like, just doing what other people told me.
Speaker B:And then any sense of, like, individuality I had was kind of stripped for me.
Speaker B:Like, not necessarily by the, like, the fault of other people.
Speaker B:It's just like, that's kind of like what I.
Speaker B:What I'm happening.
Speaker B:So, like, I was a big skateboarder growing up.
Speaker B:I love music, I love guitar.
Speaker B:And then, like, just because what my dad knew, I gave up everything.
Speaker B:Like, we knew how I, like, what he knew as, like, this is how you should raise your child, sports, whatever.
Speaker B:It's like, I just kind of just gave out my individuality for that.
Speaker B:And so then once that began, began, I just basically became an individual that I don't even know.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:It was not me.
Speaker B:And now I'm more like, oh, it's so funny.
Speaker B:Full, like, full circle.
Speaker B:It's like now it's like, yo, I'm back into my music.
Speaker B:I'm skateboarding and I'm being active.
Speaker B:I have another adrenaline, but it's funny how it works.
Speaker B:But, yeah, it's like I went so long of just like, only listening to other people, only doing what other people told me, basically living a life that was never for me, constantly.
Speaker B:And so, like, I had a breaking point.
Speaker B:At that point.
Speaker B:It's just like, holy.
Speaker B:Like, I have.
Speaker B:Who the.
Speaker B:What am I into?
Speaker B:Like, when people ask me what is.
Speaker B:Well, who is Jack Sorensen?
Speaker B:I literally didn't know what to tell them.
Speaker B:You know, it's like, I'm into this.
Speaker B:This music.
Speaker B:I mean, I don't know.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker B:Like, I didn't have any.
Speaker B:Who was I?
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Like, when people look at me now, it's like I could basically say, this is what I'm into.
Speaker B:This is what I'm about.
Speaker B:This is who I.
Speaker B:What I represent.
Speaker B:This is my brand.
Speaker B:Like, you have your own brand.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But when you add the version of that person of Jack, it's like, I didn't know.
Speaker B:I didn't know.
Speaker B:So, like, it was.
Speaker B:That's when I.
Speaker B:There wasn't a Specific day, I wouldn't say.
Speaker B:It's just like, there was a time where I just started to realize and reflect.
Speaker B:Like, I need to lean back into the person I was back when I didn't even play sports or when sports weren't my life.
Speaker B:It's like, who was that?
Speaker B:It's like that person loved adrenaline.
Speaker B:I'm a huge adrenaline junkie.
Speaker B:It's like that guy loved adrenaline.
Speaker B:He loved music, he loved art.
Speaker B:He loves being creative.
Speaker B:So I started leaning back into that, slowly but surely.
Speaker B:And then now it's just like.
Speaker B:Now it's just like everything's like.
Speaker B:I go to concerts almost every single weekend.
Speaker B:I'm a huge live music guy.
Speaker B:I go to festivals all the time.
Speaker B:I'm very much.
Speaker B:I'm not.
Speaker B:I don't play guitar.
Speaker B:I don't play music anymore.
Speaker B:But it's like I'm.
Speaker B:I'm around it 24 7.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:It's just everything, you know?
Speaker B:And then in terms of adrenaline, like, I actually built a drift car, so a race car starting that year.
Speaker B:So, like, that whole creative version of me that I was.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:That I lost.
Speaker B:I started building a car because, like, I loved cars.
Speaker B:And I was like, all right, well, here's my outlet.
Speaker B:Like, here's my outlet.
Speaker B:Let's build a car.
Speaker B:Let's make it race.
Speaker B:Ready?
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker B:So that's, like, what I did, and I just poured into me, me, me, and kind of went back to, like, my roots of, like, what.
Speaker B:Who Jack was.
Speaker B:And it's crazy, you know?
Speaker B:And then all of a sudden, it kind of started falling in place, like, just everything.
Speaker B:And it started with just taking care of my health and, you know, just kind of reframing everything and how I did things.
Speaker B:But, yeah, we got deep, dude.
Speaker B:We got deep.
Speaker B:That was good.
Speaker A:No, that was really good.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Just whilst you were talking about.
Speaker A:I was thinking, like, childhood is such a weird time of life because the lack of sort of, to some degree, the lack of agency and choice you have over.
Speaker A:I mean, obviously, it depends how tyrannical controlling your parents are.
Speaker A:It sounds like your parents.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Your dad just thought, I.
Speaker A:I want my, you know, my son to do sports.
Speaker A:Because, I mean, there's loads of reasons.
Speaker B:That's what he was around, too, right?
Speaker B:That's all he knew.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:That's all he knew.
Speaker B:It's what he grew up with.
Speaker B:All of his friends, their kids played sports.
Speaker B:So it's like.
Speaker B:It's not his fault, you know?
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker B:Of course, you know, it's not his fault.
Speaker A:No, I'm not saying it, like, disparagingly.
Speaker A:I'm not saying that, but I'm just saying.
Speaker A:No, no.
Speaker B:Yeah, I know you weren't.
Speaker A:Yeah, Good, good.
Speaker A:From a general perspective, like, childhood is an interesting sort of time, how you're working out who you are, but you also have these sort of figures and these restrictions and regulations that you have to abide by in school.
Speaker A:And if you're lucky, you'll stumble across things that you enjoy and you'll hopefully be given an opportunity to hone and develop them as you get older.
Speaker A:But, yeah, it's, you know, not everyone's as fortunate as that.
Speaker A:And I'm.
Speaker A:I mean, you said quite a few times this idea of yourself relying, reliance on.
Speaker A:On other people.
Speaker A:What do you.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What do you mean by that?
Speaker A:And where do you think that came from?
Speaker A:Because it's an interesting sort of way of putting it.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:So I couldn't feel good unless someone told me I did good.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I couldn't feel like I was accomplished.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Unless, like, my dad or a school teacher or coach told me, yo, you did a good job.
Speaker B:I'm proud of.
Speaker B:It wasn't like it was never.
Speaker B:It was like, never self reflection, reself.
Speaker B:Realization of.
Speaker B:I'm proud of something I did.
Speaker B:It was always just like, I had to look externally to other people to feel good all the time, every day.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That was who I was.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:I mean.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Does that make sense?
Speaker B:So that's like.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:I, unfortunately, I feel like that's just kind of what a lot of people suffer from, and it takes a very long time to get out of it of being, like, proud of who you are, proud of what you've accomplished, rather than have to having to be told that, you know, you're.
Speaker B:Yeah, you did a good job, and, like, get the pat on the back to finally feel, oh, my God, you're right.
Speaker B:Yeah, I am good, you know?
Speaker A:Yeah.
